


The Times of Their Lives

by Disnerd71



Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:00:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 42,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27402391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Disnerd71/pseuds/Disnerd71
Summary: This story takes place in my Fluff and Stuff universe. Snippets of Clay and Emma's future together. Not necessarily in chronological order.
Relationships: Emma Hayes/Clay Spenser
Comments: 24
Kudos: 59





	1. Sassy & Stubborn

CH 1-Sassy and Stubborn

Once, years ago, Clay expressed his desire for a little girl that was stubborn and sassy. Well, he'd gotten his wish… in spades. Right now, little Quinn Spenser was standing on top of the kitchen table refusing to give Emma back her phone.

She knew it was really her own fault. Last night she had used the fact that Daddy would be calling them to get the 2 ½ year old to settle down and take a bath. When Clay didn't end up Face-Timing them at the scheduled time, Quinn was beside herself. Emma knew better than most that plans were often broken when Clay was on an Op or deployed. But, the toddler was testing her patience and she used whatever she could at the time to get her to comply.

Now Quinn was making her pay. She had found the little girl with her phone trying to figure out how to 'talk to Daddy.' She didn't even want to know how she had maneuvered her way up onto the table.

"Quinn Alana Spenser. You need to get down off that table and hand me my phone."

"No!" She shook her head wildly and her blonde curls flew back and forth. "Daddy call, you say."

"I know I said that, and Daddy wanted to, but you know he has to fight the bad guys whenever they show up."

Huge tears rolled down the chubby, little cheeks. "But…I miss Daddy," she wailed.

Seeing her daughter's blatant sorrow and missing Clay desperately herself, Emma too started to tear-up. She knew she couldn't break-down. She needed to be strong for their little girl and for Clay. She reached across the table for Quinn and pulled her into a hug. The task wasn't easy for Emma, as the tot squirmed. And it was only made more difficult by the large bulk of her stomach that cradled their unborn son.

Finally, Quinn submitted to her mother's embrace and cried on Emma's shoulder.

"I know baby. I miss Daddy too."

This deployment had been harder than previous ones since Quinn was old enough to be aware that Clay was gone, and she asked almost daily when he would be home.

Emma reclaimed her phone and kissed her daughter's head. "Honey, I know it's hard. Daddy misses us too. But, he's a hero and he has to do his job and fight the bad-guys."

She wiped Quinn's tears and snuggled her as they sat down on the sofa. "How about I text him and ask if he can call tonight?" The little girl nodded with excitement. "Now, he might not be able to…" She didn't want her to get her hopes up again. Emma sent a text to her husband, praying for all their sakes that he would be able to connect with them later.

The storm had passed for now and Emma was able to get Quinn down for a nap. She wanted to lay down too and rest. Having an active toddler, being almost 8 months pregnant, and still teaching part-time would drain her energy at any time. Add to that Clay's 4-month deployment, and she was at her breaking point. Instead of sitting down to rest, she hauled herself up and started on the laundry. Between loads, Emma was at least able to sit on the couch to fold up the clean clothes and put her feet up. Her feet and ankles were getting horribly swollen from standing so much.

As she placed the folded piles back into the basket to take upstairs, her phone pinged with a text. She prayed it was from Clay.

-Hey babe. Sorry about last night. I should be able to call tonight about 1900 your time. Love to you, Quinnie and Baby-

-Love you back! Stay safe and talk to you tonight-

She was so relieved to hear from him. At least for the moment, he was safe. Tears slipped down her cheeks before she even noticed them forming. God, she missed him! It had been so long since he'd held her, since she'd felt his touch.

"Damn pregnancy hormones," she muttered to herself. The baby kicked and registered his feelings as well. She laid her hand on her belly. "Sorry sweetheart. I just miss your Daddy."

Quinn awoke from her nap and happily played with her stuffed animals in the living room while Emma worked on dinner. Once the food was on the table Emma helped her daughter into her high chair. Lifting the growing girl was getting more difficult.

"You're getting so big honey. You're Mama's big girl," Emma declared and kissed her on top of her curly head.

Quinn nodded and smiled broadly. "I big girl."

"Yes, you are. You're growing so fast."

Emma placed the girl's favorite chicken and macaroni meal in front her and Quinn dove in. Thankfully, she even ate the peas Emma mixed in with the noodles. She was getting uncharacteristically picky lately and Emma had been having a tough time getting her to eat any vegetables.

Emma lowered herself into her chair and picked at her chicken and salad. She was almost too tired to chew. But, she did manage the portion she had served herself. She knew that she and the baby needed sustenance even if she didn't feel like eating.

"Mama, I thirsty."

"Oh, Mama forgot your drink. Sorry baby."

Emma got up and fixed a sippy cup of milk for Quinn. "Here you go honey."

She was just about to sit down when her phone rang.

"Daddy," Quinn called out.

It was too early for Clay to contact them, and it was a phone call, not a FaceTime call.

"Nope, not this time sweetie."

Emma checked her phone. "It's Grandpa."

Quinn was upset that she couldn't talk to her father, but happy to hear that Grandpa was calling.

"Hi Dad," Emma greeted.

"Are you okay Em? You sound tired."

"I am. You know, it's my third trimester and everything is getting harder to do as the baby gets bigger."

"You're both okay though, right. Nothing's wrong?"

"Nope. We're both healthy. Just getting huge."

"Have you heard from Clay? He still getting home next week?"

"He's supposed to call tonight. But, we'll see…he missed last night."

"How's Quinn?"

"Fine. A bundle of energy. And missing Clay."

"Could you use some help tomorrow? I can come get her and take her out for a while, so you can rest."

"That would be great Dad. Thank you."

"No problem Em. You know I love being with her."

"I know. She loves it too."

"I'll come by before noon and take her out to lunch and keep her until dinner. Will that work?"

"Sounds perfect. I love you Daddy."

"Love you too. Let me know when you hear from Clay."

"Will do. Bye Dad."

Emma turned to speak to her daughter. "You're going to see Grandpa tomorrow honey. He's going to come and get you for a while. Would you like that?"

Quinn clapped her little hands together as she sang out, "Yea Grampa, Grampa!"

Looking at the girl's plate she could see that it was almost empty. "Do you want more honey?"

"No. Cookies."

"Quinn, how do you ask?"

"Cookies, pweeeeaaase?" She gave Emma a big grin that was a carbon copy of her father.

Emma chuckled and relented. "Okay, one cookie, after we get you cleaned up." She grabbed a damp cloth to wipe off the girl's face and clean her little hands. She lifted the toddler down and handed her a cookie. Then she did something she hated to do, but she was so tired. Emma turned on the TV and started streaming episodes of Sesame Street and set her daughter on the couch with her cookie. This way she could rest a bit while Quinn was occupied. She felt terribly guilty, but she needed to relax.

Seven o'clock had come and gone, and no call from Clay. She knew he wasn't in control of his schedule, but it didn't stop the disappointment. Just as she was about to give up and take Quinn up to bed, her phone sounded a caller trying to FaceTime. Emma jumped and grabbed her phone.

The picture was fuzzy, but it was Clay. She saw his big smile and his blue eyes.

"Honey! I'm so happy you could call."

Before Clay could even respond, Quinn scrambled into what was left of Emma's lap and grabbed for the phone.

"Daddy, Daddy, I talk."

"Someone wants to talk to you."

She heard him laughing as he saw her little face on his screen. "Hi Quinnie. How are you baby?"

"Daddy!" She reached out with her chubby hand and touched the phone. "I miss you Daddy."

"I miss you too honey. Have you and Mommy been having fun?"

Quinn nodded her head. "I see Grampa."

"Oh, you spent time with Grandpa? That's fun."

"I love you Daddy."

"I love you too Quinnie. You be a good girl for Mommy, okay? I'll be home soon."

Emma took back the phone and sat the little girl beside her, so she could talk to her husband.

"How's everything going there," she asked.

He sighed, and he could see the worry in her eyes. "Everything's okay Em. I'm just tired, ready to come home."

"Do you think you'll be able to head back on schedule?"

"We should, unless something goes sideways here. How are you honey? How's the baby?"

"We're both fine. I'm just tired, and slow, and…huge."

Clay's eyes swept over her image on his screen. "You're gorgeous."

Now she did start to cry. She sniffed and wiped at her tears. "You must have a bad connection," She joked. "I'm so swollen. My toes look like little sausages."

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen baby."

He felt awful that he'd been gone for so much of this pregnancy and that she'd had to manage alone.

"I'll massage your feet for you when I get home. I'll even paint your toe nails."

"Just promise me you'll come home soon. You need to be here when your son is born."

"I will be. You take care of yourself and try to rest."

She shifted her gaze to their daughter and laughed and he laughed along with her. "Okay, fair point. But, try, for me? The house doesn't have to be spotless and you can buy a microwave meal once and a while."

"I know. I'll try."

"And ask for help. Your dad and Maria Lopez, and even Naima would be happy to help."

"I will. Clay…I love you."

"I love you Emmie."

"Be safe."

She held the phone back in front of Quinn and whispered to the girl, "Blow Daddy a kiss." The toddler did as she was instructed, and Emma could see Clay mimic the action back to his little girl.

"We love you Clay."

He took one final look at his girls before he had to disconnect. "I love you too, all three of you."


	2. Daddy's Little Girl

CH 2-Daddy's Little Girl

Slowly waking up, Clay was aware of the antiseptic smell of the room and the constant, low whir of machines. He was at the hospital. In his line of work, hospitals meant injuries and suffering, and even death. As he fought for full consciousness his heart didn't feel heavy and overwhelmed like he did when he was waiting on news of a Brother wounded in an OP. In fact, his spirit felt the complete opposite. He felt light and elated. His tired brain was trying to put the puzzle together when a small, mewling cry pulled him to full wakefulness.

He heard it again, but louder and more instant this time. Finally, the pieces fell into place and he couldn't contain the smile that stretched across his face. Sitting up he glanced to his left and saw the small, portable bassinet that the nurses had rolled into the room. He stood up and reached into the enclosure and carefully lifted the tiny infant that lay inside.

"Shhh…Shhh you're okay. I'm here. Daddy's here." He crooned to her as he cuddled her against his shoulder. Tears gathered in his eyes as he realized the enormity of his statement. "What's wrong angel, hmmm?" He swayed back and forth trying to quiet the little girl.

He wanted to give Emma as much time to rest as possible. She had been a trooper, enduring hours of pain and exhaustion as she labored to bring their daughter into the world. Clay was sure that her strength rivaled that of any SEAL he had the honor of serving with. He glanced at her laying in the room's only bed. Her hair was still messy and a bit tangled and her skin was slightly pale. All evidence of the intense physical effort she had put forth. She may not have looked her best, but to his eye, she was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. He knew that there would never be anything he could say or do that would express to her his admiration and love for carrying and giving birth to his child.

Despite his best efforts, the baby continued to cry. She was screwing up her face and whimpering. It was heartbreakingly precious. Emma began to stir as she heard the baby's unhappy noises. She shifted in the bed to sit up. Clay noticed how slowly she moved and how she winced with the effort. He reached out to her with the hand not holding their daughter to try and help her get settled.

"You okay Em?"

"Ow. Yea, just sore."

At that point the baby let out as close to an angry wail as she could muster. Clay chuckled lovingly.

"Wow! Someone's really upset."

"Can you hand her here? I think she's hungry."

Emma unsnapped the shoulder of the hospital gown she was wearing and folded it back to free her breast. She reached for her daughter and held her close. It took a couple tries, but the baby finally latched on and began to feed. Clay was mesmerized. He had never seen anything as beautiful as Emma nursing their daughter. He reached out and brushed the hair from Emma's shoulder and bent to place a gentle kiss to the baby's head.

Emma spoke up quietly. "Could you get that pillow and put it under my arm honey?" Clay got the extra pillow and situated it to help support Emma's arm.

"Thanks babe. It's amazing how heavy she gets after a little bit."

He sat down and watched the scene before him. He could hardly believe that she was actually here with them. It seemed just yesterday that Emma had let him know that he was going to be a father. A knock on the door broke into his reverie. He stood up and opened the door just a crack in order to preserve Emma's privacy.

It was Jason. He stood there vibrating nervous energy as he asked about Emma and the baby.

"How is she, how are they? Is everyone okay?"

Clay placed a hand on his Father-in-law's shoulder. "She's fine. They both are Jace. You have a beautiful granddaughter."

"A granddaughter…" Jason's eyes filled with tears and he swiped at them with the back of his hand. The tears didn't stop. He reached for Clay and the two men embraced. "Can I see her, see them?"

"Let me go in first. Em was nursing her. Just wait here a sec, okay."

He stepped back into the room and checked with Emma. She wanted to see her dad and wanted him to meet his granddaughter. Clay found a receiving blanket in their bag and helped Emma cover up and let Jason know he could come in.

Jason stepped in silently and when he saw Emma he started to cry again.

"Hi Daddy. It's okay. I'm fine. We both are."

He leaned over and kissed her on the head. He couldn't believe his baby girl was a mother. He stood back up and collected himself.

Emma looked at Clay. "Here honey. I think she's done. Can you take her while I put myself back together?" She handed him the baby and managed to snap her gown back together.

Jason's eyes were glued to the little bundle in Clay's arms.

"Do you want to hold her Dad?"

He couldn't speak so he nodded his head. Clay passed him the infant and Jason felt like he was holding a dream. "She's beautiful Em. She looks like you did when you were born."

"I think she looks like Clay." Emma reached out for her husband's hand and squeezed it.

"Well, she's a good mix of both of you, I guess. Hey, what's her name?"

Emma looked to Clay and he nodded to her. "Her name is Quinn Alana Spenser."

Jason's eyes watered again at the mention of Emma's mother's name. "Your mom would be so proud of you Em."

Clay heard Emma suck in a breath and saw her start to cry. He leaned over and kissed her on the temple. "Babe?"

"I'm okay."

Jason spoke up again. "So, have you told Sonny about her name yet?"

"Nope, not yet. I texted him that she's here and he said he'll visit as soon as he can so he can meet her. I thought we'd tell him when he gets here."

"You know he's not gonna be able to fit his head through the door once he knows."

They all laughed, knowing it was true. They also knew that he would be wrapped around her little finger the moment he saw her. It was clear to Emma that she had her Grandpa and Daddy there already.

Quinn started to fuss again, and Jason started to bounce her a little when he picked up an unpleasant aroma. He wrinkled his nose and passed her to Emma, and she laughed at his reaction.

"Hey, I changed my fair share of diapers in my day. Many of them were yours."

"Here, give her here babe. I'll take care of it," Clay told her.

Once Clay had her and moved to take care of the issue, Jason approached Emma again.

"I think I'm gonna go Em and leave you guys to try and get some rest. Call me if you need anything."

He kissed her cheek and hugged her close. "I love you baby."

"Love you too Daddy."

Jason left and closed the door behind him.

Clay finished changing the baby and snuggled her close. Emma watched him holding their baby girl. His hands were so large compared to her tiny body. Those hands that shot terrorists with deadly accuracy, were now cradling his daughter while he murmured calming words to her. She felt a surge of love for him flow through her.

She was content, but still so tired. She closed her eyes for just a moment and was out. Clay glanced up from his daughter's face and saw that Emma had fallen back to sleep. He kissed her lips gently and sat down in the chair with little Quinn cuddled against his chest. He pressed his lips to her sweet, down-covered head and whispered.

"Let's let Mama sleep a little okay? Daddy's got you."

He kissed her again. "I love you Quinn Spenser, Daddy loves you."


	3. Unwelcome Visitor

CH 3-Unwelcome Visitor

Emma walked downstairs and flopped on the couch with a deep sigh. It had been a tiring week. It was her first week back at work from her leave after having the baby. The time at home had been exhausting and chaotic, adding a newborn's schedule to running after a busy toddler. Now she was back at school three days a week. Thank goodness Clay had only been spun up a couple times for short Ops and helped as much as he could.

She had somehow been able to get both children down for naps at the same time and now had a few moments of quiet. There were plenty of things to take care of around the house, cleaning, laundry, dishes etc. She sat down just intending to catch her breath before tackling the ever-growing list. She hadn't meant to fall asleep but found herself jerked awake by someone pounding at the front door.

"Crap!" She was mad at herself for nodding off and would be completely pissed if the commotion at the door woke up the kids.

She tore open the door without even checking first to see who it was. "Yes?!"

It took her a moment, but she recognized the man on her doorstep.

"Where's Clay?"

"Excuse me?"

"Clay Spenser. I know he lives here. Is he inside? Clay!"

Emma detected the lingering scent of alcohol on the man and his agitated demeanor was making her nervous.

"Clay isn't home right now. He's at work. So, I'm going to need to ask you to leave."

She started to close the door, thinking that was the end of it. But, he pushed past her and stumbled into the living room, calling out as he went.

"Clay! Clay!"

Emma grabbed her phone and texted her husband, hoping that he wouldn't be running drills, or in a briefing and would see her message ASAP.

"I said you need to leave. I have children asleep upstairs and you are going to scare them." Not to mention her own fear which was rapidly building.

At the mention of children, he stopped and looked around for a minute. He took in the toys, the stuffed animals, and the baby blanket draped across the back of the couch. Then he wondered over to the bookshelf and picked up a photo and studied it. It was a picture of Clay and the woman standing in front of him. Clay was holding a little girl up on his shoulders and she had a baby bundled in her arms. He started to put two and two together.

"Who are you," he demanded.

"What do you mean, who am I? You barged into our house. You need to leave, now!" Emma's voice was shaking. She was genuinely afraid for herself and the children at this point. "I am going to call the police if you don't get out right now!"

He reached out and grabbed her hand and looked down at the ring on her third finger. "You're his wife, aren't you? My son got married and had a family and didn't see the need to tell his own father!"

"Let go of me!"

A small voice called. "Mama? Mama…"

They both turned at the interruption. Ash started in the direction of the stairs and Emma blocked his path, putting herself between him and her children. He put his hands on her shoulders to move her out of his way.

"I'm just gonna go up and see my grandchildren. I bet their Daddy didn't even tell them about me."

Emma shrugged his hands off her shoulders and placed her palm in the middle of his chest.

"You aren't going anywhere near my children."

"You can't tell me what I can do."

Quinn called out again, crying. Emma could hear the fear in her voice. He started to shove her out of his way when they both heard tires squealing into the driveway. In a matter of seconds Clay burst through the door and took in the scene in front of him.

"Don't you lay a finger on her!"

"Oh, there he is! Gonna introduce me to your family," Ash asked with venom.

Clay instantly stepped between his father and Emma. He motioned with his hand to her.

"Em, go upstairs."

She was afraid to leave him. He turned to face her. "Honey go on up…please. Go to the kids. Quinn's crying, she needs you."

"Do you, do you want me to call the police?"

Ash laughed derisively at her question and Clay turned to glare at him. "No, I'll take care of this."

Emma nodded woodenly and started up the stairs. She got up to Quinn's room and picked up the little girl to calm her. "It's okay baby. Everything's going to be okay." She carried her daughter into the baby's room to check on him.

Back down in the living room the two men stood toe to toe, unblinking.

"What in the hell are you doing here? How dare you come into my home and threaten my family!"

"I was just in town, checking up on my son and decided I'd drop by and offer my congratulations."

"Congratulations?"

"Yea," Ash sneered. "I heard you got named Bravo one. My boy's a big man now, leading a Tier One team."

"You heard? That happened years ago."

"Well," he sniffed, "I just found out."

"Get out Ash! You're drunk."

"Looks like more congratulations are in order. You got yourself a pretty little wife…and a couple kids too. Weren't you going to tell your old man?"

Clay bristled at the mention of Emma and the kids. "There's a reason I haven't contacted you. I don't want you in my life…in our lives."

"Ouch." Ash put his hand up to his chest. "That hurts," He mocked.

"Ash, if you don't get out, I'm going to throw you out."

"Ha, that's rich. You're just a scared, sniveling little shit, like you always were."

Clay just barely stopped himself from laying his father out on the floor. He knew that Ash still had a few friends in DEVGRU and any dust-up between them could make its way back to Command. He didn't care about himself, but he needed his career. He needed to be able to take care of his family. He stepped up in Ash's face and took him by the arm.

"I'm not scared of you. I haven't been in a long time. You're just not worth it. Now leave and never, ever contact me or my family again."

"And if I do…"

Clay hissed through clenched teeth. "They'll never find your body."

He actually saw a flash of fear in his father's eyes. Clay "helped" him out the door and slammed it in his face. Then he rushed upstairs to Emma and the kids. He found her clutching Quinn to her, huddled on the floor by the baby's crib. He knelt down and wrapped his arms around them.

"It's okay. He's gone now. It's okay."

Emma laid her head on his chest and he kissed her head and Quinn whimpered quietly. Clay reached for his daughter and she went into his arms, clinging to him. He rocked her back and forth, rubbing her back to soothe her. Emma knew the contact was as much for him as it was for their daughter. He needed to assure himself that she was okay.

"Bad guy Daddy?" Quinn surprised them with her question. Emma didn't know how to answer, but Clay didn't hesitate.

"Yea, he was a bad guy. But Daddy took care of him and everything is fine now baby."

Clay stood up and helped Emma to her feet. "How's little man?"

Emma chuckled. "Would you believe he never even woke up? He's like his daddy. He can sleep through anything."

Clay smiled fondly at his boy. "I'm gonna go get this one back to sleep." He kissed Quinn's curls.

He went toward their daughter's room and Emma turned to go back downstairs. He caught her hand and stopped her.

"Em…you okay?"

She forced a smile and nodded. "I'm fine."

About ten minutes later Clay descended the stairs to find Emma in the kitchen scrubbing the dishes. He walked up and reached an arm around her shoulders and she jumped.

"Whoa, whoa, babe. It's just me. It's okay."

"Sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. Come here Em."

She continued washing the already clean skillet in her hand.

"Emma, come on. Come talk to me."

"I'm fine."

"Well, I'm not babe." He turned off the water and grabbed a towel to dry her hands. "Come sit with me."

He led her over to the couch and pulled her down onto his lap. Within a minute, he felt her body shake and heard her crying.

"Shhh. Baby, it's okay."

He knew her well enough to know that she needed to cry it out. He just held her, rubbing her back and kissing into her hair. Once the storm had passed she took a deep breath and looked up at him.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You don't have to be sorry for being upset."

She shook her head. "No, I'm sorry for letting him in, for opening the door. I was just tired, and he was making such a racket. I didn't want him to wake the kids."

"Baby, none of this is your fault. If anything, I should apologize. Ash is my problem. I never thought he would come here. I don't even know how he knows where I live. I'm sorry you had to deal with him."

"I was so scared," she finally admitted.

"You didn't seem scared when I walked in." He remembered how she had been standing there, defiant, bravely putting herself in harms way to protect their babies.

"I remembered what you told me, about…what he did to you when you were little. There was no way I was letting him near our children."

When she mentioned the past, his abuse, she felt him shiver slightly. She put her arms around him and squeezed him tight. She knew that he didn't like to talk about it and had never really dealt with his feelings. Clay sniffed, and tears came to his eyes.

"Damn it! I can't believe that bastard can still get to me."

"Honey, you're human and no matter what he did to you…he is your father."

He swiped at the tears that had escaped down his cheeks and took a deep breath.

"I don't think he'll bother us again. Ash only likes it when he feels like he can scare or intimidate the other person. He likes the power."

"Well, he knows you're not scared of him anymore."

"And you don't need to be either. I mean it Em. I won't let anything happen to you or the kids."

"I know that."

Emma gathered herself and started to stand up.

"Where are you going?"

"Don't you have to get back to base?"

"Nope. I told them that I had a family emergency. I don't have to report back today."

"Good. So what now?"

"Let's go check on the kids."

"They're not up. I haven't heard a peep."

"I know. I…I just want to see them…"

Emma leaned and gave him a kiss and then reached for his hand.

"Okay, let's go check on them."

Clay squeezed her hand and she sent him a smile.

"I love you Em."

"I love you too."


	4. Letting Go

CH 4-Letting Go

Emma answered the knock at the door. She was curious who it could be. They didn't expect Quinn's date for another hour. As she pulled back the door, Clay walked up behind her.

"Lopez! Guys! Come on in! Great that you could all make it."

Emma eyed her husband. "I didn't know we were having company. You know that tonight is Quinn's Homecoming?"

"Yea. I know. But we won't be in the way. I just thought it would be a great chance for the guys and I to get together. We're going to watch some football and grill out." He leaned down to give her a quick kiss. "They even brought all the food, so you don't have to do anything honey." He gave her his best charm-grin.

Emma didn't buy it for a second. "Clay Spenser, what did you do?"

"I don't know what you mean." He did his best to look innocent.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him with her into the kitchen. "I'm calling BS Master Chief. You did this on purpose. Why? Sebastian is a nice boy. I trust him."

"Well, I don't."

"He's just 17. They'll be fine."

"In know he's 17. And, they'll be out late tonight…alone. I just wanted him to know that, you know, there are people here at home that care about Quinn and what happens to her."

"Mmmhmm. It's just homecoming."

"Yea, and do you remember what happened when I took you to your homecoming?"

"She's only 15. I was a Senior when we went."

"Not making me worry any less. I was a teenage boy once. And I know what a 17-year-old boy thinks about 99% of the time."

"And what's that?"

"Getting into a girls' pants."

"Is that what you thought about?"

"Yes."

"You thought about it when you were 27 and did it too." She teased him.

"Hell, Em, I think about it now." He smiled at her and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh, just any female?" She replied archly.

Clay grabbed her and pulled her to him. "Nope, Emmie, just you." He lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers. In all their years together, the fire between them hadn't cooled. Just as he slipped his tongue into her mouth to taste her, Vic came in to put the beer in the refrigerator.

"Ohhhh…dang, sorry boss. Didn't mean to intrude."

Emma pulled back from Clay and answered. "It's fine Vic. Here, let me make some room for that for you."

She went to the refrigerator and started shifting things around. Once she had things re-arranged, she returned to the living room to greet the rest of the team. Thirteen-year-old AJ had appeared from his room and was on the couch setting up the gaming system.

"Hey there. Did you know the team was coming tonight?"

"Nope. But, it's cool. I thought I could kick their butts on a few games."

She was happy to see him out of his room. He was at that age where parents were starting to be un-cool. But she couldn't deny that there was still a bit of residual hero-worship where Clay was concerned. And, he had always enjoyed hanging with the guys.

"Oh, by the way. Quinn told me to tell you that she is having a 'hair emergency', whatever that means."

"Okay, thanks. I'll go check on her."

She climbed the stairs and peeked into her daughter's room. "What's wrong honey? AJ said there was an issue with your hair. I thought what the hair-dresser did earlier looked great."

"There's nothing wrong with my hair."

"Then…what's wrong?"

"Do I really hear the team downstairs? Please tell me Dad didn't invite them over tonight?" She sighed in exasperation.

Emma pressed her lips together and shrugged her shoulders. "Yea. They're down there. Sorry honey."

"Ugh," Quinn said through gritted teeth. "When is he going to stop being over-protective?"

"Uh…have you met your father? That's never going to happen. His whole life has been about protecting others. And you're his baby girl. The whole 'Alpha-male' thing goes into overdrive where you are concerned."

"Doesn't he trust me?"

"It's the boys he doesn't trust."

"I can't believe he did this. It's so embarrassing. Sebastian is never going to want to go out with me again."

Emma sat down on the bed next to her daughter and put her arm around the girl's shoulders and gave her a squeeze.

"If he likes you, it won't matter to him." Quinn nodded silently. "Did I ever tell you about the time your Grandpa threatened to have a drone fly over one of my dates?"

"No, he didn't."

"Yep. He sure did. Just ask him. And the scary part is…I think he would have done it too." They both laughed.

"Well, I guess it's good that Dad hasn't threatened that at least."

"Don't give him any ideas," Emma joked. She took Quinn's hand, so the girl would look at her. "Honey, he loves you. He's just trying to keep you from getting hurt."

"But…"

"I know. The whole team is a little over-kill. But, if Sebastian can't handle your Dad, he might not be the right one for you."

"Don't be too hard on him Quinn. It's difficult for him to admit you're growing up. It's hard for him to let go, baby."

Emma took a deep breath and stood up. "You okay now?"

"Yea, I guess. I am going to text Sebastian to give him some warning."

"I think that's fair."

"Mom?"

"Yea?"

"I really could use some help putting these pins in my hair."

Emma took the sparkling baubles and placed them carefully in the twist of blonde curls. Quinn stood up and smoothed out her dress and did a little twirl.

"How do I look?"

Emma swallowed to rid herself of the lump that suddenly appeared in her throat. She wouldn't admit it, but it was hard for her to accept that her little girl was growing up too.

"You look gorgeous."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Why don't you come downstairs and say 'Hi' to the guys and show your Dad how you look? Then you and Sebastian won't have to hang out any longer than just taking few pictures."

Quinn agreed and followed Emma down the stairs. When they appeared, everything went silent. Vic whistled and stepped over to give her a hug.

"You look great Quinn."

"Thanks, Uncle Vic."

The rest of the guys all complimented her as well. Quinn noticed that Clay hadn't said a word. He just stood leaning against the couch, watching her.

"What do you think, Dad?"

Clay's eyes took in his daughter's appearance. From her golden curls, to the soft blue swirl of her dress. With her heels on, she was taller than Emma.

"You look beautiful, baby."

He pulled her into his arms and held her close for a moment.

"Thanks Daddy," she responded, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

Emma held up her phone and motioned to the two of them to pose for a picture. They stood side-by-side and Quinn wrapped her arms around Clay's middle and he held her next to him with his strong right arm. Emma took several frames in quick succession.

"Great you two. Clay, can you take one of Quinn and me?'

Vic spoke up. "I have a better idea. Why don't I take some of all three of you?"

Everyone agreed, and they posed near the stairs. Just as they were finishing up, there was a knock on the door.

Quinn stepped forward and addressed the guys. "That's my date, Sebastian. So, behave yourselves."

There she was, a slender slip of a girl/young woman, speaking to her Dad and five other Tier One Operators like they were a group of naughty school children.

Clay slipped his arm around Emma and whispered into her ear. "She's just like you Em." He pressed a kiss against her temple.

He walked to the door and let Sebastian in.

The young man reached out his hand, "Mr. Spenser." Then he nodded to Emma, "Mrs. Spenser." He also addressed the others, "Everyone."

Then he spoke to Quinn. "Hi Quinn. You look really nice."

Quinn blushed prettily. "Thanks, you look good too."

"Here." He handed her a wrist corsage of white roses.

Emma cut in. "Can we get some pictures before you two head out?"

The teens obliged and stood still for several minutes while Emma and Clay took several pictures and then the young people got ready to go. Clay addressed both of them.

"Have fun, be safe. Quinn, you need to be back by Midnight, got it?"

"Yes Dad."

"Do you have your phone?"

Quinn nodded in the positive. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet and offered her some money.

"I don't need that Dad. The meal is at the school right before the dance."

"I know, but I would feel better if you had some cash on you…for any emergencies."

She didn't try to argue, but just took the bills and placed them in her small clutch.

"Okay, bye everyone."

Everyone in the living room acknowledged her farewell and then she was out the door.

"You okay," Emma asked Clay.

"I guess. But I'll feel better once she's home."

She gave him a big hug. "I know. It's tough watching them grow up, isn't it?"

"Yep. I don't even know how she's old enough to go to Homecoming. You still look like a teenager yourself, Em."

She smiled at him. "I know that's not true, but I love you for saying it."

"It is true. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was surprising you at your Homecoming."

"I remember that so well." She paused and continued quietly. "I also remember what happened after we left the dance."

His eyes swept over her still lithe form. "Maybe you should remind me later…"

"That can be arranged. How early do you think you can get the guys to go home?"

Clay shrugged his shoulders and Emma continued.

"They usually leave after the beer's gone," she noted.

He placed a warm kiss on her lips before returning his attention to the team.

"Alright guys, who needs another beer?"

Emma gave him a secret smile and he winked back at her.

*If you're note familiar with what happened at Emma's Homecoming, you can read about it in "Fluff & Stuff."*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *If you're note familiar with what happened at Emma's Homecoming, you can read about it in "Fluff & Stuff."*


	5. The Godfather

CH 5-The Godfather

Sonny stepped off the plane and headed to baggage claim. This whole thing felt surreal. His little 'brother' and the Princess were parents of a baby girl. He'd settled things at the ranch as quickly as he could and booked a flight to Virginia Beach.

He continued down the hallways until he reached the baggage carrousel. His bag was among the first up. Grabbing it, he shouldered his ruck and went in search of his ride. Sonny stepped outside and scanned for a familiar face.

"Son! Good to see ya man!"

"You too Boss. Or, should I say, Grandpa?"

Jason shook his head and scrubbed a hand over his beard. Then he grabbed Sonny in a fierce hug. The Texan hugged him and then slapped him on the back.

"Being a Grandpa makin' ya soft?"

"Just wait until you see her Son," he grinned.

"Well, let's get this show on the road then. I got a new niece to meet."

On the drive to Clay and Emma's they talked about Sonny's life on his family ranch and Jason's security consulting work. They were both making it, but they missed their door-kicker days.

"It's a young man's game Jace. How's Clay doin', being Bravo one?"

"You know I don't know all the details anymore man."

"But yer keepin' tabs though."

Jason glanced at him out of the side of his eye.

"I tell you Son, he's better than I ever was."

"Ya don't tell him that, do ya?"

"Hell no!" They both burst out laughing.

They pulled up to the house and Sonny dug around in his bag and pulled out a little, stuffed horse with a pink bow around its neck. Jason quirked his eyebrow at him.

"What? Something for the baby. Can't tell me you ain't gotten her nothin'."

Jason chuckled. "You going soft Bravo three, or should I say, Uncle Sonny?"

The two men walked up to the door and knocked softly. Clay answered the door, greeted Jason, and pulled Sonny into a brotherly embrace.

"Good to see you man. Thanks for making the trip."

"I had to come see the newest member of the Bravo family, didn't I?"

"Come on in. Em's upstairs changing the baby's diaper. They'll be back down in a minute. You need a drink or something?"

"Sure, ya know I never turn down a free beer."

Clay fetched three bottles and passed Jason and Sonny each a beer. They sat down in the living room and started to catch up. They all looked up when Emma got to the bottom of the stairs.

"There they are."

Clay stood up and gently lifted the baby from Emma's arms, so she could greet Sonny. The older man stood up and wrapped her in a big bear-hug.

"Congratulations Princess."

"Thanks Sonny. And thank you for coming all this way."

"A'course. Now…let me have a look at that baby Spenser."

Sonny didn't expect Clay to lay the infant in his arms.

"Whoa there." Sonny wasn't used to being around babies and could count on one hand the times he had held one. He had definitely never held one this tiny. He sat back down carefully and pulled the blankets back from her face. He took in the blonde hair as fine as corn-silk, and caught just a glimpse of hazy, blue eyes.

"Well, aren't ya a pretty little filly. Ya gonna wake up and visit with Uncle Sonny?"

The baby let out a tiny snore and snuggled into Sonny's arms for a snooze. They all laughed softly.

"Whatcha callin her?"

He had addressed the query to Emma, but she let Clay answer his friend and brother.

"We named her after a couple people that are very important to us. She's Quinn Alana Spenser."

Sonny said nothing. He couldn't get anything past the lump in his throat. Sonny Quinn, who was always ready with a quip or a comeback, was speechless. He swallowed convulsively and they all pretended not to notice the tear that had escaped from the corner of his eye.

His voice was gruff and raspy when he finally did respond. "That's…that's, well. I am honored. Truly honored you two."

"And Son, we'd also like you to be her Godfather…if you would."

Sonny cleared his throat again and blinked back more tears. "Y'all sure you want me to do that? Seems like Ray woulda been a better choice."

"We want you, Son."

"Well, I surely will do that then."

"At least she'll have a good example of what not to do," Jason joked, breaking the seriousness of the moment.

"Hey now, I'm not a complete heathen."

Sonny suddenly remembered the gift he had brought. "Jace, can you hand Emma that gift I brought for the little one?"

Jason grabbed the plush off the table and handed it to his daughter. "Sonny, it's precious. She's going to love it. We'll tell her how her Uncle Sonny brought it to her all the way from his ranch in Texas."

Quinn started to squirm and fuss. Sonny quickly passed her back to Emma. The baby rooted around began to register her displeasure.

"I think she's hungry. Let me go feed her. Clay, why don't you get started getting the things set out for dinner."

"Em, you don't have to entertain us," Jason said He and Sonny stood up and prepared to leave.

"Nonsense. We want to visit with Sonny for a little bit."

"But…"

"We already have everything fixed; we just have to heat a couple things up."

Clay walked over and put his arm around Sonny's shoulder. "It's best not to argue with her man." And he shivered in mock-fear.

"Just for that, you're on diaper duty for the rest of the day," she teased

"See what I mean," Clay said. They all laughed.

After she nursed, Quinn was ready for another nap. Emma laid her in her bassinette and brought the monitor with her downstairs and joined the guys. They finished setting the table and sat down for their meal. Just as he always had, Sonny kept them in stiches with his stories. There were endless tales of life on the ranch. All three men reminisced about funny incidents from their shared past. When the meal was over Emma was clearing the dishes and Clay settled back in the living room to continue their visit.

"Spenser, where's the head?"

"Up the stairs, first door on your right."

As Emma washed up the dishes, she heard some talking coming over the monitor from Quinn's room.

"Hey there little one. Listen, I ain't never had any kids of my own. You're probably about as close as I'm gonna get to any grandbabies. I promise to be here for you no matter what. And that little horse sittin' over there. That ain't nothin. Yer gonna have yer own pony. And I'm gonna get ya a hat and some real, Texas cowboy boots, not the fake shi-, stuff you find around here. Then, when you come and visit me at the ranch, I'm gonna teach ya how to ride proper." The baby whimpered a bit and then quieted. "Okay, I'm goin'. Don't wanna wake ya up. Yer Mama would have my head. She's pretty special ya know. And yer Daddy too, but don't tell him I said so. Let's keep that between you and me, okay?"

Emma couldn't hold back her tears. She always knew that Sonny Quinn was just a big teddy-bear hiding behind that gruff cowboy-come-SEAL exterior. He rarely let anyone see that side of him. And it seemed baby Quinn had breached that façade in record time.


	6. His Heart

CH 6-His Heart

Emma tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. She punched at her pillow and sighed audibly. Clay's arms wrapped around her and she heard him speak.

"What's wrong honey?"

"I just can't sleep. Can't find a comfortable position. I'm sorry, I know you need your rest. I'll move to the couch."

His arms tightened around her, holding her in place. "No, you don't need to do that. I thought maybe the baby was keeping you up." One hand rubbed gently over her rounded belly.

"In a way I guess he is. I just…there's no position that's really comfortable."

His hand had stilled, resting unmoving on her stomach. She glanced at Clay and saw his eyes were closed again. She was happy he'd been able to fall back asleep. She vowed that she would hold as still as possible to not wake him again. Although the team was not on active status at the moment, he still reported to base each day and needed to review intel and keep the team in top form.

Emma let her mind go and sorted through everything she needed to accomplish before the baby was born. Her main concern had been alleviated when Clay had made it home from deployment on schedule a week ago. He wouldn't miss the birth of their son. As she mentally ticked through her list, a sudden pain tore through her and stole her breath.

"Ahh, owww."

Clay was instantly awake. He felt her belly go hard and her body stiffen beside him.

"Em…are you okay? Are you in pain?"

"I need, owww, can you help me?"

He was on his feet in a flash and put his arm around her and helped her to stand. Before she could even take a step, she felt a rush of fluid between her legs splash to the floor. She doubled over in pain. Clay did his best to hold her upright.

"Em?" He looked at her with wide-eyed panic.

"My water…it's definitely time."

"Um, okay. Let's get you cleaned up and ready to go. I'll call your Dad and Vic & Maria. One of them should be able to come stay with Quinn."

They got themselves ready and Clay carried her downstairs to the couch. While they waited for Vic and his wife to get there, Emma had several more contractions, each only growing more intense.

She grasped Clay's hand, trying to breathe through the pain. "Honey, I'm scared. Things are moving so fast. This isn't like with Quinn at all."

He agreed with her, but he didn't want to show her his worry. Pulling her to rest against him, he smoothed her hair back from her face. "I know babe. I know it's a little early but, I guess now that I'm home little man is anxious to meet his daddy."

She started to relax just a little when he felt her go ramrod straight and suck in a breath.

"Em…baby? Honey…"

She didn't answer only laid there, eyes blankly staring at his face. Clay shook her shoulders, completely panicked, trying to get her to respond.

"Emmie…Emmie, baby, talk to me…pleeease Emma."

Thankfully, Vic and his wife walked in at that moment. Clay sprung up from the couch with Emma in his arms.

"Boss, what's wrong?"

"It's Emma, something's really wrong. Can you…?"

"Yea, I'll drive, Maria will stay with Quinn."

They rushed to the car and Clay settled in the back seat with Emma while Vic sped to the hospital. Clay held Emma; thank God she was breathing. He was praying with all his might that everything would be okay. He couldn't lose them. He could feel himself starting to spiral out of control. He tapped into his training to clamp down on his feelings. He rubbed Emma's belly and pressed kisses to her hair, continuing to murmur encouragement to her.

"You're okay Em. It's all going to be okay. You're fine. You and AJ are gonna be okay. I love you honey. You just need to hold on for a little bit longer. We're almost there now. Just breathe for me honey. Breathe baby. I love you so much Emmie."

Vic had called into the hospital. When they skidded to a stop in front of the ER, they were there with a gurney, waiting. Clay lifted Emma out of the car and laid her on the stretcher and jogged along as they hurried her inside.

They got her into a cubicle and started to track her vitals. The attending physician turned to Clay.

"Sir, I know you want to be with your wife, but it would really be best if you went to the waiting room and let us do our jobs."

Clay shook his head frantically. "No, no. I'm not leaving her." He was genuinely afraid that every breath could be her last.

"I'm sorry. I have to insist. We will keep you informed and let you know the minute we know something."

Clay kissed Emma's cheek and allowed himself to be shown to the waiting area. He sat with his head in his hands. He didn't know what to do. How could this be happening? What if…NO! He couldn't let himself go there. He couldn't lose them. He wouldn't lose them.

Vic came in from parking the car and found Clay in the corner of the room. "Boss?" There was no response. He tried again, "Clay, what's going on? How are Emma and the baby?"

Clay raised his head and Vic could see the anguish written across his face. Tears were falling from his eyes and trailing into his beard. He didn't even seem to be aware that he was crying. The seriousness of the situation hit Vic like a gut punch. He'd seen Clay in combat, walking around with bullet wounds and broken bones without so much as flinching. To see his team-leader and friend like this was heart-wrenching.

Clay finally answered. "I…I don't really know. They made me leave before…"

"What can I do man? How can I help?"

Clay willed himself to think. What would Emma want? "Can you fill Jason in? He should be here. Hey, could you see if Naima's working now? Maybe she can find out what's going on in there."

"Sure thing man. I'm on it."

Vic laid a hand on Clay's shoulder. "They'll be fine. I know they'll be fine." Then he walked to the other side of the room to make his calls.

Clay was tired of waiting. He was pacing the room like a caged animal. Why weren't telling him anything? What the hell was going on? He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. It wasn't the doctor, but Naima. He noticed she word her regular clothes, not her nurse's scrubs.

"Naima, you didn't have to come all the way here. I just thought that if you were working…"

"It's fine. Emma's like my daughter. I need to know what's going on too."

The pair hugged and Clay broke down in her arms. She held him, rubbing his back and whispering words of comfort.

"Oh God, Naima. What if…I can't live without her. I can't. She has to be okay. And the baby. Our little boy…" He just sobbed.

This was the scene Jason walked in on. He immediately thought the worst. Vic spoke to him and let him know that the situation hadn't changed yet. Naima let Clay go and Jason led him to sit down while she went to see what she could find out about Emma's condition.

Clay looked into Jason's eyes and saw his tears and concern mirrored there. How could this be happening?

"Jace…how…what do I do?" He was used to working the problem, finding a solution. But all he could do, all any of them could do was sit and wait and pray.

Naima finally returned. She sat next to Clay and took his hand. He feared the worst and was afraid to breathe.

"Emma's is holding her own. Apparently, her blood pressure spiked, and she had a small seizure. They're working on getting that under control. She's stable now at least."

"And …the baby?"

"The baby isn't handling the stress well…his heart rate is dropping. The doctor thinks that the best bet is to do an emergency C-section to get him out. "

"Is that okay, will he be okay?"

"It's fine. His lungs should be developed by this point. He just might be a little small…"

Clay nodded and she continued. "And…the C-section is best for the baby, but it could be dangerous for Emma with her blood pressure still so high. They need you to decide Clay, the doctor needs for you to give him the okay to do the C-section."

This was a nightmare. Clay had never been so scared in his life. He didn't know what to do. He could handle bullets and grenades flying at him and trying to cheat death on any OP, but he was completely lost with this.

"What should I do?"

"I can't tell you that honey. But, what would Emma want?"

Clay took a deep breath and knew that Emma would do anything to protect their child. She would want the baby to be safe. "Do it. Get the baby out."

"Okay. Come on. Let's go talk the doctor. And maybe you can see Emma for a minute before they prep her."

They walked off leaving Jason and Vic sitting in the waiting room.

Clay spoke with the doctor and gave his permission for the emergency C-section. They did allow him to see Emma briefly. He sat on the chair next to her bed and held her hand in his. It was so small and delicate, but strong and capable. He almost didn't have words. He had loved Emma since he'd spoken with her that day at Ray and Naima's cookout. He had never met anyone so compassionate and caring. She was smart, and beautiful and fun. And she was an excellent mother to Quinn. He still marveled that she had fallen in love with someone like him. He wanted more time. He wanted forever with her. A steady stream of tears flowed from his eyes as he held her hand to his lips.

All he could manage was, "I love you Emmie. I need you. Quinn needs you. Please baby, fight."

The nurses came in and he had to leave. Leaning over to kiss her one more time, Clay almost lost it. They stopped Emma's bed in the hallway for Jason to give Emma a kiss. Clay had crumpled and Jason helped him back to the waiting room.

By this time Ray had joined them and he and Vic had contacted the rest of current and previous Bravo teams as well as Mikey, and Emma's friends. Jason and Clay sat down hard and Ray pressed cups of coffee into their hands. Clay tried to refuse but Ray wouldn't accept it.

"You got to keep going brother. Emma and the baby will need you when this is done. Not to mention Quinn, when you get home."

Naima walked back in. She had become their conduit for information. "They'll start the C-section immediately. It shouldn't take long. You'll be holding your son soon Clay."

He nodded woodenly. It seemed wrong. This was supposed to be a joyous occasion. Their son deserved to be greeted with joy and love, not fear and despair.

In just thirty minutes, the OB came out and brought Clay back to meet his son. He held the little one and murmured words of love to him. Thankfully, he seemed completely fine.

Emma had weathered the procedure well and her blood pressure started to drop once they took the baby and they could administer stronger medicine to help her get it under control.

Clay took the baby out to meet his family. Jason was first. "Hi there, little man. How are you doing?"

"I know Emma wanted to tell you his name herself, but…"

"I'll wait," Jason interrupted. "I'll wait until she can tell me herself."

Clay nodded and returned the baby to the nurse. Now more waiting. It was driving him mad.

They all took turns getting him food and coaxing him to eat and drink. All he could think about was Emma. Vic called the house and checked on Quinn. Maria communicated that the little girl was fine, just missing her parents.

Finally, around midnight, a nurse came and got Clay. "Mr. Spenser, you can come see your wife now."

He hurried toward her room, excited and apprehensive about what he would find. He made it to her room and saw her laying silently in the bed. She looked more peaceful and her color was much better. He sat in the room's only chair and gently took her hand, weaving his fingers through hers. She began to stir, eyelids fluttering. Clay was by her side immediately. Smoothing back her hair and kissing her forehead.

"Come on Em. Wake up honey. Come back to us."

She tossed her head back and forth on the pillow and finally opened her eyes. Those enchanting blue eyes that Clay feared he'd never see again.

"Oh, thank God!"

She tried to speak, but no words came from her parched lips.

"Shhh, shhh honey. Don't try to talk." He kissed her cheeks and her lips repeatedly, assuring himself that this was real.

"Baby…what..." she croaked out.

Clay grabbed the water that was sitting on her bedside table and held the straw to her lips for a quick sip.

"The baby?" She uttered, eyes wide with fear.

"He's fine Em. They had to do a C-section, but he's fine. He's absolutely perfect."

Once she was assured her baby was healthy and safe, she was full of questions, but too tired to ask any of them. The doctor walked in and gave Clay a download. Emma and the baby would have to stay in the hospital for the next few days, but everything seemed under control now. There seemed to be no lingering affects from her seizure, but they would run a few more tests to be certain.

"Mrs. Spenser, are you ready to meet your son?"

Emma nodded eagerly as a nurse wheeled in his bassinette, and both left the little family alone. Clay lifted their son from his bed and laid him in Emma's arms.

Ignoring her own discomfort, she shifted to her side and started to nurse him. Clay was amazed at her strength. He situated himself behind her on the bed and wrapped an arm around both of them, crooning words of love to them both.

Naima peeked into the room. She hated to disturb them, but Jason wasn't going to wait much longer to see for himself that Emma was truly fine. She cleared her throat softly. Clay got up and met her at the door.

"Jason is about to explode out here. Can I send him back?"

Emma answered. "Yes. I think he's done anyway. Clay can you take him?"

Clay lifted the baby and cradled him against his strong chest and took a seat beside Emma.

Jason walked in quietly and went to Emma's bedside. "How are you Em?"

"I'm okay Dad. My blood pressure just got too high and they couldn't do much to treat it while the baby was still in there."

He nodded and reached for her hand. She had given them such a fright. He wasn't quite recovered yet.

"What do you think of your Grandson?"

"He's beautiful."

"And his name?"

Clay cut in. "I didn't tell him Emmie. We wanted to wait for you."

"He's Adam Jason Spenser," she said squeezing her father's hand.

Jason nodded and swallowed away tears. "Thank you, Em. Thanks to both of you."

Emma was tiring quickly; she had been through quite an ordeal. Thank goodness little AJ seemed unscathed.

Clay knew that if it had come down to it, Emma would have traded her life for her son's in an instant. He was relieved beyond measure that hadn't come to pass. He didn't know how he would go on without her. She was his heart and he knew that you couldn't live without a heart.


	7. Christmas Traditions

CH 7-Christmas Traditions

Clay walked back downstairs, stepping over baby gates and around totes and boxes. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving and as had been their tradition since they had been together, Emma and Clay were putting up their Christmas tree and the rest of their decorations.

This year they had the "help" of their 3 ½ year old daughter and 1-year old son. Quinn was starting to remember Christmases past and was beside herself with excitement. She flitted about the room getting into every box and tote that Clay brought down from the attic.

AJ on the other hand had no idea what was going on. But, if Quinn was excited, it must be good. His toddling steps got him over to the tree where he immediately began to pull on the sparkling lights and tried to fit them in his mouth.

"Ooops! Not so fast little man," Clay exclaimed as he scooped up his son and got him out of the danger zone. "Looks like we're gonna have to figure out a way to keep him out of all this Em."

"Yea. I was thinking about that. We can get one of the baby fences and put it around the tree so he can't reach."

"Sounds like a good idea, huh, tiger?" Clay bussed AJ's chubby cheek as the little boy, still in his father's arms, stared mesmerized by the twinkling lights and shiny ornaments.

"Daddy? Daddy?" Quinn pulled at Clay's free hand.

"What Quinnie?"

The toddler indicated that she wanted her father's attention too and reached up for Clay to pick her up as well. He lifted the little girl into his free arm, and she leaned her head on his solid shoulder. Always a "Daddy's Girl", Quinn wasn't about to let AJ get all of their father's attention. He kissed her curly head and squeezed her.

Emma spoke up. "Quinn, why don't you help me hang some more ornaments while Daddy puts AJ to bed?"

"No. I want Daddy." Quinn threw her arms around Clay's neck and refused to let go.

Clay intervened. "Okay. I just hope the Elves don't report some little girl's behavior back to Santa."

Quinn's ears perked up at the mention of Santa. "Ralphie's watching?" Ralphie was they name she had given to their "Elf on the Shelf."

"You know he comes to live with us at Christmas time to let Santa know if you and AJ are being good."

"Okay, Mommy. I'll help." She nodded her head frantically and began to scramble down from Clay's arms.

Clay turned so that Emma could bid little AJ goodnight. She leaned into kiss his soft cheeks. "Goodnight baby. Sweet dreams."

He went to put the baby to bed while Emma managed their excited daughter. She and Quinn dug through the totes locating the rest of the ornaments to be hung on the tree. The decorations were an interesting assortment. Some were from the first batch of baubles that she and Clay had bought the same year they purchased the tree. She smiled fondly as she hung them and remembered setting up the tree together that first Christmas when they were dating.

Others they had acquired over the years, including Quinn and AJ's first Christmas ornaments. And there were a few that Quinn had made with her help. This year, with Maria Lopez's help, Quinn had made an angel from a toilet paper roll, a coffee filter, and some glitter. She was beyond proud to place it on the tree.

They had hung most of the ornaments until they got to the last one. That Emma set aside for later. She heard Clay coming back down the stairs. He swung Quinn up in his arms and leaned to give Emma a quick kiss.

"He go down okay?"

"Yea. His eyes were closed before I even got him in his crib."

Emma breathed a sigh of relief. He had been weaned for a few weeks. But sometimes he still fussed at night about not nursing. So, Clay handled the nighttime duties as much as he was able.

"I don't need a crib. I'm a big girl," Quinn interjected.

"You sure are Quinnie. You're my big girl. Here," He shifted her to his other arm and reached out to grab the tree topper that Emma had left sitting on the table by the couch and handed it to the toddler. "Why don't you put the star on top."

He lifted Quinn up on his shoulders, steadied her with one hand, and used his other hand to help her reach out and position the star at the very top of the tree. Quinn clapped enthusiastically at their joint accomplishment. He swung her down, placing her on the couch.

"All right little miss. I think it's about time for you to head to bed too."

She immediately began to shake her head and started to protest.

"Quinn, it's bedtime and big girls don't fuss like that," he told her firmly.

"Alright."

"Tell Mommy goodnight."

Emma bent down so Quinn could give her a hug and kiss. "Goodnight Mommy."

"Goodnight sweetie. Love you."

Quinn reached for Clay's hand and tugged him toward the stairs, chattering a mile a minute.

"Do you think Ralphie saw Daddy? Do you think he knows I'm a good girl?"

Emma shook her head and smiled. While Clay was getting their little girl into bed, she finished clearing up the mess from their decorating for him to put away tomorrow. She got everything back in its proper container and Clay still wasn't down. She went to the kitchen and poured them each a glass of wine and sat them on the table next to the sofa. Then she dimmed the lights and relaxed on the couch.

Finally, he returned. She saw him chucking and shaking his head.

"What?"

"Quinn. She insisted on two stories and asked a million questions about Ralphie. That damn elf is great for getting her to be good, but I hope I can keep up with her curiosity and remember what I've told her."

She patted the cushion beside her, and he sat down. She passed him a glass of wine and he took a sip.

"Everything hung up Em?"

"All but one." She smiled slyly at him.

"You saved that one?"

"Of course. It's part of our tradition, isn't it?"

Clay leaned across her to set down his glass and reached to take hers also. When her hands were free, she wound them around his neck and pulled him to her. He claimed her lips and slid a hand down her side, curved over her bottom and down to the back of her thigh. He pressed her back into the cushions with his body as he drew her leg up and over his lap. She began to hum softly as his lips made their way down to column of her neck.

Soon he stopped and sat them back up. She looked at him questioningly.

"We need to hang up our ornament."

She smiled softly and reached for the heart-shaped decoration that read, 'Our First Christmas 2019' and walked with him to place it on the tree. Emma could feel him pressed up behind her and his hands caressed upward as he unbuttoned her shirt.

"Mmm…Clay…"

He nibbled at the sensitive hollow behind her ear. "Aren't you going to hang it up?" He slipped a fingertip beneath the cup of her bra and grazed her nipple.

"Ahhh…"

Emma struggled to focus and reached out and hung the hook on a center branch. Once it was placed on the tree they turned, and he led her back to the couch. She worked her hands under his shirt and pressed her hands against his well-muscled torso. Clay reached down and pulled his tee off over his head.

His hands weren't still. He pushed her shirt off her shoulders and helped her pull it off her arms. He pulled the straps of her bra off as she reached behind her back and unfastened it. His eyes went wide as she revealed herself to him. Since AJ was no longer nursing, they had only made love a few times. Now that her breasts were no longer off-limits to him. He determined to take full advantage.

Clay placed gentle kisses across the swell of her chest, avoiding the pebbled tips.

"This okay?"

She tossed her head back and forth and bit at her lip, trying to keep her moans to a low decibel. He took that as his answer and slipped his tongue out to tease her nipples. God, he had missed the taste of her!

"Emmie, you are so delicious baby."

He felt her fingers dig into his shoulders as she writhed beneath him on the couch. She was rolling her hips, grinding her core against the hardness in his pants.

Clay sat up and started to slide her leggings down off her. He looked into her eyes. "Baby, you are beautiful. Your body is gorgeous."

He leaned to kiss her, and she slipped her tongue across his lips. Their tongues tangled and he could feel her excitement wet and slippery against his abdomen. He stood and quickly kicked off his shoes and socks and shucked his pants and underwear.

Settling back over her, he slid himself into her slick heat. "Ahhh, Emmie. You feel so good."

They moved together, their actions practiced and perfected over their years together. He knew exactly how to angle his hips to hit the most sensitive part of her. And she understood how to contract her internal muscles around him as he moved inside her to give him the most pleasure.

"Yes, yes…Clay. Yes!"

She clutched onto his shoulders and quivered around him as she broke. He watched her skin flush and her breasts heaving. He loved that he was the only man that had ever brought her this pleasure and the only one to ever get to see her like this.

He thrust into her just a few more times and muffled his groans in her neck as he gave himself to her. He shifted his position and Emma rearranged herself to snuggle into his side and rest her head on his chest. She reached up to the back of the couch to pull the blanket down to cover them.

"I love our Christmas Tradition," looking up at him as she spoke.

Clay kissed her head and responded. "Me too babe. It's my favorite one."

They laid there together just enjoying the feel of each other until they needed to get up and go to bed. Emma threw on his discarded t shirt and he pulled his pants back on to make the trip upstairs. Clay walked over to check the lock on the front door and to turn off the lights. She heard him curse softly.

"What's wrong honey. Did you run into something?"

"No, I just need to set up that elf for Quinn. Any ideas?"

They settled on a simple place for the first morning, positioning him in the branches of the Christmas Tree.

"We'll tell her it's so he can see everything that's going on in here."

Emma giggled. "What," he questioned.

"I certainly hope he wasn't watching everything a little while ago."

He smirked a little before he answered her. "Would he need to report to Santa that we were bad?"

"I think we were pretty good." She winked at him as they climbed the stairs.

"Good huh? 'Cause I can be bad if you want me to." He smacked her on her bare ass and picked her up to carry her the rest of the way to their bedroom for a demonstration.


	8. Family Vacation

CH 8-Family Vacation

They all shuffled half-step by half-step down the tiny aisle until they reached their assigned row of seats. Emma slid in first, next to the window, and settled AJ on her lap. Next, Clay urged Quinn forward to stand in front of her seat while he stowed their bags and situated her car seat. He still wasn't sure why they needed so many bags on the plane with them. That was in addition to the several they had checked.

"I pack less for a three-month deployment," he whispered under his breath.

"What was that honey?"

"Nothing Em. Here, let's get you buckled in Quinnie."

The little girl allowed herself to be lifted into her seat, sandwiched between her parents. She immediately reached for the bag that Emma had put together with snacks for their flight. Clay stilled her hands.

"Hey, let's wait until the plane takes off first, okay?"

She nodded sullenly and went back to playing with her stuffed horse, making it 'gallop' up and down Clay's arm.

"Are you excited to see Uncle Sonny?"

"Uh huh. And to see Gumdrop." That was the name she had chosen for the pony Sonny had waiting for her at the ranch.

Since his daughter was currently occupied, he looked over her head at Emma and AJ. Right now, she had their son engaged in watching the vehicles buzzing around the airplane. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Everyone said they were crazy to even think about taking a 5 and 2 ½ year old on a flight to Texas. But Sonny had been after them to get down there since Quinn's birth. Now that he had a pony purchased and trained for his Goddaughter, they couldn't say no.

Once the plane was in the air, they allowed Quinn to dig into the snacks. She pulled out a juice box and some Goldfish crackers. Emma found AJ's Cheerios and asked the attendant for some milk to fill his sippy cup. The treats and the novelty of being on an airplane lasted for about a half an hour before AJ was fussy and tired and Quinn was antsy and bored. Emma rocked him the best she could and sang to him in an effort to get him to doze off. They had specifically planned the flight for the boy's nap time in hopes he would sleep at least part of the way.

Clay busied himself with keeping Quinn entertained. He grabbed a coloring book and crayons out of one of their bags and folded her table down for her. Emma had bought her a new activity book with various pictures of horses to color and trace. Quinn loved to color and draw.

"Daddy, which one looks like Gumdrop," she asked. "I want to color Gumdrop."

"Well honey, Gumdrop is an Appaloosa, so she's white with dark brown spots. I think you could make any of these look like her."

"Okay Daddy."

She pulled out a few crayons and settled on an image. She twirled a piece of hair around the fingers of her left hand as she swung her legs back and forth. Clay grinned at her actions. He knew that she resembled him, but this pose, this show of concentration, this was all Emma. He shifted his gaze to his wife. She had been able to get AJ to sleep. He was draped across her arm. Clay knew how heavy the little boy could get.

"Wanna pass him here, honey?"

She smiled gratefully. "Not yet. I want to make sure he's really good and asleep before we move him."

"Okay, babe. Just let me know when you're ready."

After 20 minutes or so, Emma indicated that she was ready for Clay to take over holding their son. The boy shifted restlessly during the exchange, but thankfully, didn't wake up.

They made it until the plane started its descent into the airport before AJ awoke. He wasn't happy and let everyone on the flight know it. Clay cringed inwardly and tried to sooth his son.

"Come on buddy. You're okay. We'll be there soon."

After packing up their belongings, Emma reached to take him back. Just as Quinn was a 'Daddy's girl,' AJ was attached to Emma. He quieted almost as soon as he was in her arms.

Thankfully they made it down, off the plane, and to baggage claim with minimal fuss. Quinn took off running before either of them could grab for her. Emma was almost frantic before she saw the burly, bearded man who had scooped Quinn up and was currently swinging her around and around as she giggled. They made their way over to him and greeted their old friend.

"Hey man! Great to see you." Clay pulled Sonny into a one-armed hug.

"You too Bam-Bam. And you Princess." He leaned over and kissed Emma's cheek.

"I can't believe how these two sprouts have grown." He tickled Quinn and sent her into a fit of laughter. "This one's so big, I almost didn't recognize her."

Clay was watching little AJ. He didn't remember his Uncle and was acting shy, hiding his face in father's shoulder. "Hey buddy," Clay spoke to his son softly. "Don't you remember Uncle Sonny?"

"It's all good man. It's just gonna take him some time." He smiled good-naturedly. "Let's get yer bags and get on out to the car."

"It's a good thing you're here man. It's gonna take both of us to carry everything Emma packed," Clay joked.

Emma tried to take a swing at him, but he caught her small fist and pulled her to him for a kiss instead.

"Enough of thet you two."

She spoke up to defend herself. "I wanted to make sure we had everything we would need. I'm pretty sure Sonny doesn't have spare diapers and wipes, or extra pajamas laying around the ranch."

"Yer right on thet. But, this ain't J-bad , missy. We do have stores here," he joked, pulling her into another hug.

They managed to corral all the bags and AJ's car seat and get it all loaded into the SUV. Emma sat in the back seat between the kids and Clay climbed in the front passenger seat next to Sonny.

"We all ready, or do we need to stop for anythin' on the way?"

"How long is the trip?"

"Oh…'bout an hour, give or take."

Clay turned to check with Emma. "We good honey?"

"I think we'll be fine until we get to the ranch. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Sonny, do you have kid-food?"

"Huh?"

"You know, PB&J, chicken nuggets, macaroni-n-cheese, kid food. They can be pretty picky."

"I'm way ahead of ya Princess. My housekeeper went shoppin' and stocked up on all kinds of goodies for the young-uns."

"You have a house-keeper, Son?"

"Yea, I got a house-keeper, Blondie," He answered Clay as he pulled onto the highway. "I'm a successful ranch-owner now. Haven't you heard?"

Emma sat back and relaxed on the ride to Sonny's while he and Clay played catch-up. She must have nodded off, because she woke up with her daughter's squeal as they pulled off the road onto the ranch's lane.

"We're here. We're here Mommy! Where's Gumdrop?"

"Shhh. Quinn, quiet down. We're here to visit Uncle Sonny, not just to see your pony."

Sonny chuckled. "It's okay. Gettin' yer first horse, thet's somethin' to get excited about." He slowed down and turned to address Quinn directly.

"How 'bout we get to the house and get settled in and then we take a trip out to the barn to see Gumdrop? Thet sound good?" Quinn nodded, her entire body wiggling in excitement.

They pulled up to the house and got out of the car. "Here we are, Chez Quinn."

"Hey, that's my name," the little girl noted.

Sonny opened the back door and reached in to unbuckle Quinn and lift her down. "Yer right little miss. Ya see, thet's my name too. Uncle Sonny is Sonny Quinn. Yer named after me, munchkin."

"We have the same name?"

"Well sorta. Is that okay with you?"

Quinn reached for a hug as she answered. "Uh huh, Uncle Sonny." He picked her up and squeezed her tight, carrying her into the house.

"Boy, she's got his number, doesn't she," Clay observed as he lifted AJ out of his car seat.

Emma put her arms around her husband and kissed his cheek. "Yep, just like her Daddy and all the other 'tough-guys' in her life. Wrapped right around her little finger."

They followed Sonny inside and upstairs to their rooms. As soon as they entered Quinn's assigned room for their stay, she squealed again. At the end of the bed was a pink cowboy hat and matching boots. She ran over and held both up in the air, twirling around.

"Mommy, Daddy, did you see? Did you see? My very own!"

Clay passed AJ to Emma and bent down next to the little girl. "They're beautiful. But, what do you say to Uncle Sonny?"

"Thank you, Uncle Sonny. I love them."

"Yer welcome."

After Quinn calmed down, they unpacked and settled in for their week vacation.

"Dinner's gonna be ready in about forty minutes. Anyone care to take a stroll out to the barn and check in on Gumdrop?"

Quinn jumped up and down dancing from one foot to the other. "Me, me, me!" She caught a stern look from her father and added, "Me, please, Uncle Sonny."

As much as Emma wanted to see Quinn meet her horse for the first time, AJ was wiped out. She wanted to get him fed and into bed as soon as possible. She let the guys know. Sonny told her to make herself at home in the kitchen. Clay went with them out to the barn. He promised to take pictures and videos of their daughter's reaction to her pony.

By the time they were able to tear Quinn away from Gumdrop, dinner was ready. They settled in the kitchen to eat. Halfway through the meal Quinn's eyes were drooping and she was just about falling out of her chair. Clay picked her up and took her up to bed.

Emma helped Sonny clear the table and insisted on rinsing the dishes and putting them in the dishwasher while he went back out to make sure everything was squared away in the barn. Just as she was finishing up in the kitchen, Clay returned.

"She asleep?"

"Yep, I could hardly wake her up enough to get her changed into her pajamas." He looked around the room. "Where's Sonny?"

"He went out to the barn."

"So, we're alone?" He grinned and raised his eyebrow in question.

Stepping closer to him, Emma wrapped her arms around his neck. "It appears we are, for the moment."

"Hmmmm…" Clay lowered his lips to hers and pressed his body flush against her.

Sonny stepped back up on the porch and could see in the window to his kitchen. For a moment he was flustered at witnessing this intimate moment between Clay and Emma. Then, he realized it was the perfect time to catch them out. He walked in without warning.

"Can't you two keep your hands to yourselves?"

Even being married with children, Emma still blushed. But Clay hardly missed a beat. He kept Emma in his embrace and answered honestly.

"Nope. I can't. Can you blame me?"

They all laughed and retired to the living room.

"I thought we could go for a ride tomorrow. You still remember how to sit a horse?"

"Of course, I do. But I'm not sure if it's a good idea for Em or the kids."

"I have a helmet for Quinn. She'll only ride Gumdrop on a lead in the yard. The rest of the time she can ride with me."

Clay glanced at Emma. "Sonny…"

"Hey, I'd never put her or any of you in danger. And, I have a cart set up for you and the little guy to go behind Clay's horse."

"Okay. It sounds like it will be fine. I appreciate you thinking about all that."

"Yes ma'am."

"She'll love it. Besides, none of us will get a moments rest until she gets to ride that horse."

They all had a good laugh and continued to visit until it was time for bed. They parted company at the top of the stairs.

"Good night Sonny. Thanks again, for all of this. I'm so happy we finally came." Emma gave him another hug.

"Me too Princess, me too."


	9. 1+1=3

Carrying a few too many bags of groceries, Emma struggled to unlock the door their apartment. She could have made a second trip, but she just wanted to be home. It had been a long week, and she wasn't feeling herself. With just a couple weeks left until school started, she was working night and day on student assessments and individual lesson plans. She was only in her second year at the local school district. Emma loved her job, using music to help Special Needs students, but it was taxing. She was hoping to get a little rest before starting on dinner. Her stomach had been bothering her the past couple days and she needed to lay down.

Koda was wiggling in excitement at her appearance. Swiping his tongue at her hand.

"Hey, boy. We'll go for a walk as soon as I get this stuff put up."

She was reaching up to put away the coffee when a strong pair of arms wrapped around her.

"Hi honey." Clay kissed her neck and proceeded to slip his hands under her shirt and cupped her breasts, squeezing gently.

Emma, who always enjoyed her husband's attentions, winced slightly, and shrunk away from his touch.

"Em, I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?"

She turned in his arms to offer an explanation. "It's okay. I'm a little tender and not feeling too great." She leaned up against him. "My PMS is just worse this month for some reason."

Clay's embrace went from passionate to comforting in a heartbeat. "I'm so sorry honey. Why don't you let me finish putting this stuff up and you can go lay down?"

"You don't mind? "

"No, of course not. I'll take care of Koda too."

"Why are you home now anyway?"

"Our briefing finished sooner than expected. So, I thought maybe I could get home and surprise you."

Now she really felt bad that all she wanted to do was sleep. Her eyes teared up before she could stop them. Clay was instantly concerned.

"Em," he questioned.

"I'm fine. It's just the hormones. I'm so sor…"

He didn't let her finish. "Don't apologize babe. You can't help it." He kissed her forehead tenderly and turned her around to face the bedroom. "Go get some rest. You'll feel better after a nap."

Emma woke to the sound of a cupboard slamming in the kitchen. She noticed that it had gotten dark outside and wondered how long she'd been asleep. However long it was, it was longer than she intended. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed to stand, she felt dizzy and nauseous. She breathed in slowly, through her nose trying to settle her stomach and still her spinning head. Koda sensed her movement and was at her side immediately, pushing his nose at her hand.

"It's okay boy, I'm okay," she told him, scratching behind his ears.

Clay heard her speaking to the dog and joined her in the bedroom. He leaned against the door jamb and turned on the light.

"How are you feeling Em?"

"Okay, I guess. My stomach's still a little upset."

"Do you want anything to eat? Some soup maybe?"

"Honestly…I just want to sleep. I'm sorry."

Clay came and sat next to her, pulling her to lean against him. "It's fine. I just hate that you feel like this."

"Thanks honey. I'll feel better soon. I always do."

He kissed her head and gave her a warm hug before leaving her to go back to sleep. "Love you Em."

Koda laid down on the floor next to her and kept watch.

After two more days of feeling the same way, Clay was getting worried about her and she was getting frustrated. She didn't usually have such a bad time with her cycle, but every once and a while it hit her hard. But, even then, her symptoms disappeared as soon as she started her period. This was going on way too long. Emma pulled out her phone to take a look at her calendar. Surely, this would be over soon. She looked at the date and felt like someone had knocked the breath out of her. According to her tracking, her period was 6 days late! No, she had to be wrong. She must have counted wrong. But, even after calculating the days from her last period three more times, the count didn't change. Was it possible?

Everything started to click into place. All the indicators were there. Emma sat down hard on the couch, her head spinning with the realization of what was causing her symptoms. Thankful that Clay had taken Koda for a run, she spoke aloud to herself, "I…. I'm pregnant."

Emma didn't want to say anything to Clay until she had taken a test and was absolutely sure. And until she had some time to come to terms with it herself. It was such a shock. She had been on birth control for years, but she knew nothing was 100%.

The next morning, she made a trip to the drug store and picked up a pregnancy test. Smuggling it into the bathroom under her shirt, she followed the instructions and waited the longest three minutes of her life. When she picked up the stick, there it was, an unmistakable plus sign.

Her emotions were all in a jumble. She was excited, scared, nervous, and happy all at once. They had talked about their desire to have a family, but those conversations were always, "someday" and "in the future." They had only been married for a little over a year. What would Clay think? Where would they live? They had been saving up for a house but hadn't even started looking. It was overwhelming. She had no idea how to tell him.

That night, after forcing herself to eat dinner they settled on the couch, just watching some TV. Clay could feel her tension. He switched off the TV and turned to look at her.

"Em, are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

She started to tear up, and he pulled her into his lap. "Honey, you're scaring me. Is something wrong? Are you sick?"

She shook her head and sniffed loudly. "I'm…I'm not sick." She paused and he searched her face earnestly, holding his breath. "Clay…I'm, I'm pregnant."

His mouth fell open and he couldn't speak.

"Say something, please."

"Em, oh my God. Are you serious?" She could already see the smile starting to pull at the corners of his mouth.

She giggled through her tears. "Yes. I took a test this morning. We're going to have a baby."

He hugged her so tightly she almost couldn't breathe. "Em, I was so worried. I didn't know what to think. And you're…we're…" he was stammering. He cradled her face in both hands. "Tell me again." He had a full-blown grin on his face now. His eyes were wide and twinkling with joy.

"You're going to be a father."

He laughed in pure joy that was infectious. "A baby…" he was incredulous.

"I know it's sooner than we planned, we don't have a house, and you're still putting the team together…" She was babbling and he silenced her with a kiss.

"Shhh. None of that matters." After thinking for a second, he asked. "How did this happen?"

She raised an eyebrow and laughed at him. He chuckled too.

"I mean, you're on birth control. How…"

She thought back to his return from his extended spin up last month. After he got home, hardly a day had gone by that they didn't make love, sometimes more than once. All she had to do was remind him of his ravenous appetite for her and he grinned smugly.

"Well, I am a sniper, you know. I don't miss." They shared a laugh.

"Are you sure you're happy," she asked.

"Emmie," he was choked up again, eyes shining with unshed tears. "You're having our baby. Nothing could make me happier."

Her fears disappeared as his lips touched hers. Now a part of her and the man she loved would be together forever. He slipped his hand under her shirt to rest low on her abdomen and covered her still-flat stomach and she laid her hand over his.

"I love you so much Emma." He kissed her again, softly. "I love both of you."


	10. Daddy's Home

CH 10-Daddy's Home

Finally getting Quinn down for her nap, Emma jumped into the shower. She didn't waste time, but washed her hair and used Clay's favorite, vanilla-scented body wash. She was surprised to find her hands shaking a bit. She wasn't completely sure if it was just the excitement over her husband's safe return from deployment, or also a small case of nerves regarding his reaction to her drastically changed figure. She knew she was being silly. Clay had obviously seen her pregnant before. But she knew she was much larger than she had been with Quinn. And, he hadn't been there to see her body gradually changing. He had seen her over FaceTime. But it wasn't the same.

As she rinsed the last of the suds from her skin, she was happy for the spa day she had been able to sneak in yesterday. Maria Lopez had watched Quinn while Emma had gotten a pedicure and a wax. She smoothed her hands over her extended stomach, where their son was kicking. There was no way she could have reached her toes or legs on her own. Let alone…other places.

Thankfully, she heard no noises coming through the monitor she brought with her into the bathroom. Quinn was still sleeping. She towel-dried her hair and then left the rest to dry naturally. She knew Clay preferred her natural waves to straightened hair. Before she got dressed, she went downstairs and worked on getting their dinner put together. When given options on meals, Clay always chose her lasagna. As she worked, she recalled a long-ago conversation with Naima. Her friend, and surrogate mother, had told her that Ray always wanted three things when he returned from a deployment, a home-cooked meal, to watch sports, and to make love with her. Emma smiled to herself. Ever since she and Clay had been together, their reunions had followed a similar pattern. Since Quinn had been born, he had substituted sports with time spent with his baby girl, but the rest stayed the same. She would be providing the meal, and she was sure Quinn would want to spend plenty of time with Daddy. It remained to be seen if he would want her in this state, or… if they would be able to manage it.

She got their dinner in the oven and checked the time. She was hoping Quinn would sleep for just a bit longer so she could get herself ready. Opening the closet door, she eyed the outfit she had chosen, a red maxi dress with an empire waistline. The long skirt fell to her ankles and the V-neck revealed a decent amount of cleavage and fell at the perfect spot for her to wear the pendant he gave her their first Christmas together. She looked in the mirror and second guessed herself. Maybe it was too dressy. She shook off her doubts and pulled it from the hanger. It wasn't like she had a lot of options that fit her at this point. She also wished she had some nice lingerie she could put on, instead of the cotton maternity panties and bras that she was using now. Shrugging her shoulders, she slipped on the dress and went to do her hair and make-up.

Just as she was finishing up with her hair, she heard Quinn stirring. She went into the little girl's room and picked her up from her bed.

"Hi baby. Did you have a good sleep?"

Quinn started chattering and Emma couldn't untangle most of it. "Are you ready to get dressed so we can go pick up Daddy?"

"Daddy! Daddy," Quinn squealed and started to dance around.

Emma changed her diaper and tried to get her dress on her. Once she had wrangled her overly excited daughter into her blue dress and sandals, she went to work on the tangle of blonde curls. She finally managed to pull the mass into pigtails and clip a red bow to each. She handed Quinn her stuffed horse and stuffed seal to occupy her and went about getting her bag together. She sincerely hoped the 2 ½ year old could manage to get through the next couple hours without needing a diaper change or making a mess of her outfit.

They got buckled in and drove over to base. Emma hadn't wanted to arrive too early, knowing that it would be hard to keep Quinn occupied. According to the last communication with Clay, they should only have to wait fifteen minutes or so until he should be free to come and meet them. Emma checked her hair and make-up once more before getting out of the car.

She helped Quinn jump down and held tight to her hand, making sure she didn't run off and get hurt. The toddler was pulling and twisting, trying to get free.

"Quinn, behave. If you want to wait for Daddy out here, and not in the car, you need to hold Mama's hand."

Thankfully, Maria Lopez arrived and saw her predicament. She walked over and greeted Emma and Quinn.

"Hi Em. And how are you Miss Quinn?"

Maria was one of Quinn's favorite people. Her appearance served to distract Quinn enough that she stopped trying to run off. Emma was watching her daughter's interaction with Maria, adding comments now and then. After a few minutes, all of them heard the gate open and saw the team start to walk through. All three stood with bated breath until they saw their men.

The first few team members through the gate were newer, and Emma didn't know them well. Vic was next. He jogged over to Maria and took her in his arms. The two held each other and kissed for long moments. Emma smiled at their happiness as Quinn began to giggle at their pro-longed kiss. Her childish laughter broke through and the couple stepped apart.

Vic addressed them. "Hi Emma, Quinn. It's great to see you."

Emma hugged their friend and Clay's 2IC and answered. "You too Vic. I'm happy you all are home safe."

Quinn squealed, wrested her hand from Emma's grip and took off running. Emma looked up and saw Clay coming toward them. She gasped, worried that Quinn would run into the path of one of the vehicles in the parking lot. But Clay rushed to her and scooped her up before any damage could be done.

Emma walked toward the pair, watching the joy on their faces as they greeted one another.

"Daddy! Daddy! I miss you!"

"I missed you too baby. You're so big Quinnie." He kissed her soft, chubby cheek and patted her well-padded bottom.

He looked up at Emma and shifted Quinn to his left arm. His eyes scanned over Emma again and again and he reached out his hand to her. Pulling her close he wrapped his arm around her and settled his hand on her lower back.

Emma spoke up, addressing what he surely must be thinking about her appearance. "I know…I'm," He cut her off.

"You're gorgeous."

She laughed a little and lowered her eyes.

"I mean it Emmie. I just…I can't …how do you get more beautiful every time I go away?"

She looked up, eyes searching his face. All she saw there was love and yearning. His hand stole up her spine and came to rest on her neck, under the fall of her hair. She wound her arms around his neck and tipped her face up to receive his kiss. At first, his lips touched hers softly. Then, as soon as he tasted her familiar flavor, he devoured her mouth hungrily. Who know how long they would have stayed there, if their son hadn't made his presence known? He was jabbing his sharp little elbows and knees into Emma hard enough that Clay could feel it where she was pressed up against him.

"Wow! He's a strong little guy, huh?"

"Yea, he is," she answered slightly out of breath. "He loves to play soccer with my lungs."

He slid is hand down and around to rest on her abdomen. His fingers splayed wide, taking in the baby's movements. His eyes met hers again and he leaned in for a quick kiss.

Not willing to cede his attention for any longer, Quinn reached out and patted Clay's bearded cheeks with her tiny hands.

"Me kiss Daddy."

He laughed and attacked her cheeks and neck with small, noisy kisses. She screamed with laughter.

"Is that enough Daddy kisses for you," he asked his daughter. She nodded her little head, still hiccupping with giggles.

He had to let go of Emma's hand to grab his bag. She walked ahead of him to the car. Quinn jabbered in his ear as he enjoyed his view of Emma from behind. Her dress was a little tight, not that he would have told her that. It afforded him a wonderful glimpse of her rounded ass. He threw his bag in the back and settled Quinn into her seat. Handing him the keys, Emma climbed into the passenger seat and buckled up. He reached over for her hand and brought it to his lips.

"Let's go home."

They pulled into the driveway and Clay went to get his bag while Emma got Quinn from the backseat. As they approached the door, he took a deep breath in.

"Is that your lasagna I smell?"

Emma smirked at him. "It sure is."

"You're the best Em."

They got inside and Emma went to check on dinner while Clay stood just inside the door, looking around. Coming home was always so strange to him, familiar, but different at the same time. Quinn didn't notice anything different in his demeanor and was chattering at him. He caught only portions of what she was saying. He shook his head, trying to focus on the here and now. He took Quinn's hand and went into the kitchen.

"Anything I can do to help honey?"

Emma was putting together a salad and getting out plates and cups to set the table.

"Can you get Quinn's meal out of the refrigerator and heat it up? I have to…I have to go to the bathroom."

He kissed her cheek quickly. "Sure thing. We can handle it, can't we Quinnie?" He picked up the little girl and gave her a squeeze. "Ewww. Now I smell something else," he joked. "Do you need a change little girl?"

"I can get her," Emma replied, reaching for Quinn.

"I got it. You go do what you need to do babe."

"Thanks. There's stuff in her bag. I left it on the couch."

Clay changed Quinn, washed up and sat her in her highchair. As Emma was coming into the kitchen, he was setting the table. He had already gotten the little one her cup of milk and had her meal in the microwave. Emma got the lasagna out of the oven and they sat down to eat. The conversation was light and centered around Quinn's accomplishments since Clay had been gone. He inhaled the lasagna and went for a second helping.

"This is so good Em."

"Thanks. So, you only missed me for my cooking, huh," she teased him.

"That, and…other things." He slid his hand up her thigh under the table.

"A'done," Quinn announced, diffusing the tension of the moment.

Clay chuckled. "I can see that baby. Did you actually get any inside you?"

She had apple sauce in her curls and carrots all over her face. But she nodded her head and answered.

"Uh huh, tummy." She raised up her dress to show her stomach as evidence of her accomplishment.

They both laughed at her antics. "I think someone needs a bath, don't you Daddy?"

"It looks that way. I can take care of the dishes if you want to take her up."

Emma got up to lift Quinn from her chair and went up to the bath. Clay joined them fifteen minutes later. He took a mental picture of the scene in front of him. Emma was on her knees, rinsing the shampoo from Quinn's curls as she sang her a silly song. The toddler was laughing and trying to blow the bubbles off her arm.

Quinn saw him and got a little too excited, splashing water everywhere, even all over her mother. Neither one of them had the heart to say anything. They knew how much she had missed him. He helped Emma to her feet, grabbed a towel and lifted Quinn from the water. He cuddled his little girl against his shoulder.

"I'll get her dressed and put to bed. If that's okay."

"Of course. I know she'd enjoy Daddy tucking her in tonight." She kissed Quinn goodnight and left them.

Emma went to their room, changed into her nightgown, washed her face, and brushed her teeth. It was still another twenty minutes or so until Clay made an appearance.

"I was afraid you might have already fallen asleep," he said as he entered their room and turned on the baby monitor. "I know I took longer than usual. I just couldn't seem to put her down."

She smiled in understanding. She knew how much it meant to him to reconnect with his baby girl. She watched him pull off his shirt and unbutton his pants. Clay never carried much extra weight, even when he wasn't deployed. His job demanded peak physical condition. But he was always a bit leaner when he got home, his musculature more defined. After months of longing for his touch, the sight of his naked torso made her heartbeat faster and her breathing speed up. If he noticed her reaction, he didn't say anything, just continued into the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed.

When he was done, he came to bed in just his boxer briefs, and after turning out the light, immediately reached for her. Emma went into his arms and relished the feel of him holding her. The strength of his arms around her and his body next to her was her anchor.

"I missed you so much," she whispered.

He put his finger under her chin and tipped her head up to his. "I missed you to Emmie."

He placed a sweet but firm kiss to her lips. He could feel her press herself closer against him and parted her lips with his tongue. He moaned into her mouth as his tongue stroked hers. She could feel his hands roaming down her body and lifting up her gown. He paused as he waited for her to raise her arms so he could pull it all the way off. She slowly raised her arms and allowed him to finish undressing her. There was silence and she didn't meet his gaze.

"Emmie, is there something wrong?"

"I just…I know I'm bigger than with Quinn. I…" she didn't complete her thought.

"You are perfect baby. You have no idea what you do to me. All your curves..." He caressed her thighs and ass and slid down to kiss her breasts.

"God, Clay!"

"Is this okay? Are we okay to…"

"Ummhmm. The doctor said as long as I'm not uncomfortable."

He continued to kiss and lick at her breasts, taking her nipples into his mouth. "Tell me if you need to stop, or if I'm hurting you."

All she could do was moan and arch her back to press herself closer to him. "Clay…"

He raised his head in concern. "Yea, babe?"

"More"

He reached a hand down to her core and felt her slick heat. "God baby…so hot."

He rolled her clit between his thumb and finger and she came in quick bursts. He stroked her thighs and watched her come down from her high. She looked at him from lowered lids and licked her lips.

"I love you Clay. I want you."

She needed to feel him, to connect with him in the way only they could. Clay managed to kick off his underwear as he claimed her mouth again.

"I want you," she repeated.

"I need you too Emmie, but how…"

Emma sat up and straddled him, sheathing him in one swift move. "God yes," he moaned.

His hands swept over every lush curve and settled on her hips as he thrust gently into her. Emma used his shoulders for leverage as she raised and lowered herself on his length. He could feel her tightening around him, and he urged her on.

"You're so beautiful Em. I love you so much baby."

She bit her lip and dug her fingers into his skin as she came around him. The pulsing of her internal muscles triggered his orgasm and he let go with her name on his lips.

He helped her roll to his side and held her close, kissing her brow. For the first time in months…both of them drifted to sleep feeling completely whole.


	11. Heart to Heart

CH 11-Heart to Heart

Clay looked down at the phone buzzing on the table. The caller ID indicated that Quinn's school was calling. He put down the reports he was reviewing and answered his phone.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Spenser?"

"Yes. This is Clay Spenser."

"Mr. Spenser. I understand your wife is out of town right now."

"That's right. What's going on? Who is this?"

"I'm calling from Principal Henson's office at Quinn's school. Your daughter is here in the office."

Clay was instantly worried. "Is she okay? Is Quinn alright?"

"She's fine sir. But… she was involved in an incident with another student that requires disciplinary action."

"What sort of incident?"

"A fight, sir."

"Quinn got beat up?" He started to raise his voice. If someone had hurt his girl…

"Uh…no Mr. Spenser. Quinn started the fight. That's why we need you come to the school as soon as you are able."

That was news he was not expecting. His happy, sweet, little girl had gotten herself into a fight and had hit another student?! What on Earth?

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

Clay returned the reports to the file cabinet and let Vic know that had to leave base. The team wasn't on active rotation, but they still had to report in for training and to keep up on current intel. The timing had worked out well. Mikey was receiving his master's degree in architecture and Emma had travelled with her Dad to his graduation, taking little AJ with her. They both agreed that with Quinn in school, it was better if she stayed home with Clay.

Soon enough he pulled into the school parking lot and pushed the buzzer at the door to gain entrance. A voice addressed him over the intercom.

"Can I help you?"

"Uh, yea. It's…I'm Clay Spenser, Quinn Spenser's father. The Principal's office…"

The voice interrupted him. "Yes, Mr. Spenser. Come in and you can proceed directly to reception. I'll let Principal Henson know you're here."

He heard the click of the latch release and opened the door to go inside. As he walked through the double doors he turned to the left and into the waiting area outside of the Principal's office. He had only been to Quinn's school a few times. His job meant that he often missed out on parent-teacher conferences, school plays and other activities. He hated it, but that is what his commitment required. Quinn and AJ understood as much as they could for their ages. He and Emma had told them repeatedly that Daddy fought bad guys and so he had to be away from home a lot. He was deeply sorry that this latest visit was for a negative reason.

He checked in at the desk and the assistant assured him that the Principal would be right with him. He declined her offer to have a seat, instead pacing nervously around the small waiting area. It was only a few minutes until the office door opened and Principal Henson stepped out.

"Mr. Spenser, could you join us, please?"

Clay removed his hat and ran a hand nervously through his hair as he walked into the office. Quinn was already inside. She had some dirt on her cheek, and her hair was more disheveled than usual. Other than that, and the tears standing in her eyes, she looked to be fine. He took the seat next to her and reached over to lay his hand on her shoulder.

"Could someone tell me what is going on?"

"Quinn? Would you like to tell your father?"

The first grader looked down to the hands clasped in her lap and shook her head no. Clay could see some of the tears make their way down her cheeks. He turned his chair to face her and took a hold of her little hands.

"Honey? You need to tell me what happened. What was the fight about?"

Quinn bit her lip and tried to hold back a sob. "Tommy…Tommy said that you…that you…"

Her voice broke and she couldn't continue. He pulled her to lean against him and rubbed her back.

"Baby, I need you to tell me the rest. Why would you ever hit someone?"

Quinn sniffed loudly and rubbed a hand across her eyes. "He said that…that you're a bad daddy because you're gone so much." Then after another shuddering breath, "then he said that you…kill people. He said you're a bad person because you kill people."

"Oh honey."

"It's not true. Is it Daddy? You're a hero. Mommy always says you're a hero and that you fight bad guys."

His heart broke as she gazed at him with her huge blue eyes, begging him to tell her that it wasn't true. He cleared his throat and spoke quietly.

"I think you and I need to have a talk, okay?" Quinn nodded. "But first, you need to listen to Principal Henson and say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry Ms. Henson. I shouldn't have hit Tommy."

"Thank you, Quinn. I know you're sorry. And Tommy shouldn't have said those things. But we have rules. And when you break those rules, there are consequences. Do you understand?"

Quinn nodded again, awaiting her punishment.

"You will lose recess privileges for the next two weeks."

She remained silent until Clay spoke her name quietly. Then she answered the principal. "Yes ma'am."

"Alright. You are free to go with your dad. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Honey, wait for me by the desk for a couple minutes, okay?"

Clay turned to address the Principal. "Ms. Henson. I'm sorry that this happened. We do teach Quinn that violence isn't acceptable."

"I know. I also know that what you do isn't easy, for you, or for Quinn. I am terribly sorry that Tommy said those things to her. He will be dealt with as well."

He fiddled with his hat and swallowed. "I appreciate that ma'am. People…they don't always understand what I do. They can be…"

She smiled in understanding. "Yes. They can be." She reached to shake his hand. "Have a good afternoon Mr. Spenser."

"You too ma'am."

He left her office, held out his hand for Quinn, and they walked out to his truck.

The drive home was almost silent. Quinn was worried about further punishment. She knew what she had done was wrong. But the words had hurt her so much, and when he said those bad things about her daddy, she just couldn't hold back. Clay was trying to figure out the best way to approach describing his job to her. How much did she need to know? What could she deal with?

They got home and walked inside. He grabbed himself a beer and offered her a juice box.

"Hey, why don't we go outside," he asked.

Quinn nodded her head and followed him to the backyard. He took a seat on one of her swings and waited for her to settle herself on the one next to him. For a few minutes they just sat quietly together. He noticed her tilt her head to the side and start to twirl an errant curl around her finger. He smiled to himself as he recognized Emma in her actions.

He really wasn't the type to beat around the bush, even with his children, so he dived right in.

"So, Quinnie, what do you know about what I do, about what my job is?"

"You're a soldier in the Navy."

"Sailor, sailor in the Navy," he gently corrected.

"A sailor," she repeated carefully. "You protect us from bad guys."

"That's basically right baby. I'm a special kind of sailor. It's called a SEAL."

"You mean like the animal, like my stuffy, Flipper?"

Clay chuckled as he pictured her small plush seal. It had once been his. Given to him by a friend and teammate while he was in the hospital. Emma had found it among his things and kept it. Years later he gave it to his baby girl.

"It sounds like that but it's different. It just means that I have a different job than most people who are in the Navy. I'm on a team with your Uncle Vic and your other Uncles. We work together to go all around the world to find the bad guys."

"That's why you have to be gone so much. Mommy told me." She shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of juice.

"Yes. That's why. And we don't ever know when they will show up, or how long it will take us to find them."

"Why did Tommy say you killed people?"

"Well…you know that sometimes mean people hurt other people, right? It's my job and my team's job to protect our country from those bad people."

Her eyes were trained on him, following every word and movement. He continued.

"Sometimes…sometimes there's only one way to stop them from hurting others or hurting our country. Do you understand?"

God, he prayed he was saying the right things. He never wanted to lie to her, but he didn't know if she could comprehend the reasons for his actions. He saw her swallow and her brows knit together.

"So, do you shoot them?"

He sighed and blew out a breath. "Sometimes…sometimes we have to. It's the only way to keep them from doing bad things."

He could see the confusion in her eyes. She was old enough to know that hurting and killing others was wrong. Hell, he had just told her that hitting Tommy was wrong. But here he was telling her that he shot people. She was struggling.

"I don't want to honey. I never want to shoot anyone. I wish we could tell people to be good and that they would listen. But some people are so bad that it's the only thing we can do."

He could see the emotions on her face. She was processing what he was telling her. Then came the question he dreaded most.

"Do they shoot at you?"

He reached out and laid his arm around her shoulder. "Yes. Sometimes they do."

"They try to kill you?"

"Yes."

She started to cry. He set his beer on the ground and he pulled her onto his lap and held her tight. She sobbed into his shoulder and it broke his heart. It was all he could do not to break down in tears seeing her pain. Suddenly she sat up and started to squirm away from him.

"I don't want you to die. I hate your job! Why do you have to do it? Can't you just do different work?"

"I could, I guess. My job is hard, and I don't like being away from you and AJ and Mommy. But I know someone has to fight the bad guys and protect us. It's what I need to do."

"That's stupid! You could quit. Why don't you quit?"

Ahhh, God he wished Emma were here! She had gone through this same thing with her dad. She would know exactly what to say and how to explain it to Quinn.

"Can I ask you a question?"

She nodded suspiciously. "What if everyone who is on my team quits? What if nobody joined the Navy. Or, what if no one wanted to be a police officer? What do you think would happen?"

She shrugged her shoulders in response, so he continued. "If no one did those jobs, there wouldn't be anybody to stop the bad guys, would there?" He really hoped he wasn't scaring her more.

"No," she answered sullenly.

"I couldn't ever let anything happen to you or your brother, or to your Mommy. I love you all so much that I have to go out and protect you. Does that make any sense to you?"

She laid back against him and mumbled against his chest. "I guess so."

He held her and rubbed her back until the sniffing stopped and her breathing was back to normal. Clay wasn't sure if he had done any good, or if he had just made things worse.

"Do you have any more questions?"

"No."

"Okay, if you do, now or later, you can always ask me." He lifted her chin so that he could look at her eye to eye. "I won't ever lie to you Quinn."

She nodded and returned his gaze. In that moment, he could see some of her baby innocence leave her eyes and be replaced by a new, more mature understanding. He was filled with sadness and pride at the same time. He hugged her to him once more and kissed her cheek.

"What do you say to ice cream for dinner," he whispered into her ear.

She looked up at him with wide eyes. "Mommy doesn't let me have dessert before dinner."

"Mommy isn't here, is she? I won't tell if you don't."

Quinn nodded her head in agreement. Her blue eyes sparkled at the shared conspiracy and she giggled. There, his little girl was back.

"Can I have chocolate with sprinkles?"

"You can have whatever you want Quinnie."

They got up and walked back into the house and she slipped her small hand into his larger one. Clay looked down at her and she peeked up through her curls.

"I love you Daddy."

"I love you too, baby."


	12. Father's Day

CH 12-Father's Day

Clay woke up slowly. He was about to get up and get going for the day when he remembered, today was Father's Day. His family had specifically told him that there was to be no work today. This was a day for him to just rest. He relaxed back into the pillows and tightened his arms around Emma's still sleeping form. She sniffed a little and wiggled her body more closely to his but didn't wake. He kissed her gently on the head and closed his eyes. He knew that he wouldn't go back to sleep, but he could lay there and enjoy holding his wife while he sorted through memories of Father's Days past in the early morning quiet.

Quinn was three months old for Clay's first Father's Day. They were still getting used to being parents, and because of his job, most of the work fell on Emma. He didn't expect much for Father's Day. In fact, he had told Emma that all he needed was a quiet day with his girls. Each time he held Quinn, each time he kissed her soft cheeks and saw her tiny hands and feet, he couldn't believe he had been so blessed. But, in typical Emma style, she had a surprise for him. As he sat down for breakfast, she placed a small gift next to his plate.

"Em, you didn't need to get me anything honey."

"I know. But Quinn & I wanted to do something special for you."

He unwrapped the package to reveal a frame with Quinn's little footprint and a poem below.

Daddy,

I'm not very big, I'm not very tall

I can't say your name, I can't talk at all

So, this little gift is my way to say

How very much I love you

And, Happy First Father's Day!

He wiped the tears from his eyes and reached for Emma. He pulled her onto his lap and buried his face in her hair.

"This is amazing Babe. I love this!"

"Well, Quinn helped too. We wanted you to know how much we appreciate you and what a great Father you are."

Clay smiled to himself as he recalled that moment so many years ago. He looked to his left and gazed at the small frame that was displayed prominently on his nightstand. Quinn's footprint was a little faded and the paper had started to yellow, but it was among his most prized possessions.

Goodness knows that he had missed his share of these precious days while he was deployed or on a spin up. He recalled a particular Father's Day when he was deployed, and the family sent him a special care package. Quinn had just completed Kindergarten and AJ was a busy 3 ½ year old.

He sat down on his cot and tore back the brown paper wrap on the outside of the package. The cardboard box was fairly large, and his curiosity was piqued as to what could be inside. He opened the flaps to find several envelopes and two smaller boxes wrapped in more festive paper. After sorting through the envelopes, he set aside the one addressed to "Daddy," and started with the one that said just "Clay" on the outside. Inside he found a beautiful card from Emma. She added her own sentiments to the preprinted words, calling out how much she loved and missed him, and how lucky she was to have him as the Father of her children. He shook his head, thinking he was truly the lucky one.

Next, he opened the card from AJ and Quinn. It was superhero themed and talked about how he was their hero. Quinn had printed her name in childish script and added some crooked hearts. Emma had obviously helped AJ to sign his name after Quinn's. She had also added a small note on the back of the card by way of explanation.

"The blue package is from AJ and the purple one is from Quinn. She insisted that her gift be from just her. She heard from a classmate that all Daddies get funny ties for Father's Day. I had to convince her that you don't wear ties for work. And that even when you dress up it's mostly your uniform. This was her next idea."

He opened AJ's gift first and saw it was T-shirt with a hand-made design. It had his small handprints in red and the writing was blue and the Bravo Team Insignia in black:

"Best Daddy Ever! Officially Certified SEAL of Approval. Love, AJ."

It was precious. The guys walked into the barracks and saw him holding it up. They made the appropriate comments and he beamed with pride.

Next was Quinn's present. Without even thinking, he tore open the paper and pulled out the contents of the small box and held it in the air. As the team started hooting with laughter, it dawned on him that his daughter had gotten him superhero underwear. As he gazed at the garment covered in the signature patriotic, round shield he knew he was in for it. The team immediately began calling him "Captain America," and the moniker stuck throughout their deployment.

Bringing his mind back to the present, he laughed softly at the memory and the knowledge that his daughter had loved her gift idea so much that he had amassed quite the collection over the years. Even now, on certain occasions, one of the guys would still tease him with the nickname.

Emma stretched and yawned next to him, finally waking up. She immediately reached up to pull his head down for a kiss.

"Ummm, good morning, Happy Father's Day." she rasped in her morning voice.

"Good morning. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"Nope, not at all. Have you been awake long?"

"Not too long."

"I'm surprised you didn't get up. You don't usually lay in bed for too long."

"I've been doing some thinking."

"Thinking…about what?"

"Well, more remembering than thinking, I guess. Just remembering other Father's Days."

"Oh, anything stand out," she asked.

"They have all been special, Em. I just know that I'm so damn lucky to have you and the kids."

"We're the lucky ones honey."

Emma kissed him once more and went to make him their traditional Father's Day breakfast of French Toast and bacon.

Clay took a quick shower and arrived at the table before either of his children. Emma sat the food on the table as he poured their juice and coffee.

"Want me to call the kids down honey?"

"I guess. They're probably both tired. I think AJ mowed 5 lawns yesterday and Quinn has baby-sat almost every night this week."

"Yep. They've been working really hard," she replied.

"I know that Quinn wants the money to spend on Summer Vacation with Grace & her family. She's hardly talked about anything else since we told her she could go. I guess I just didn't realize that AJ wanted that new gaming system so badly. It good to see them working hard for what they want."

"Mmhmmm." Emma replay was non-committal.

She proceeded to call up the stairs to inform the kids breakfast was on the table and their Dad was waiting on them. In just a couple minutes, the two tumbled down the stairs looking bleary-eyed. Quinn walked straight to Clay and wrapped her arms around him.

"Happy Father's Day, Daddy."

He returned her embrace and kissed her cheek.

"Thanks baby."

AJ was a little more circumspect. He was at an age where he was questioning public displays of his feelings. Clay had no such reservations and reached out to pull the boy to him and held him. Once he felt his Father's strong arm around him, AJ returned his hug.

"Yea, Dad. Happy Father's Day."

"Thank you, son. Why don't we all sit down and eat."

Everyone dug in and the food disappeared quickly. It was their tradition that the kids gave Clay his presents after breakfast, but he noticed neither of them had brought a package to the table. He didn't really care if they got him anything or not, just spending the day with his family was enough, but he was curious.

Emma started to clear the dishes. He noticed the glances passing between brother and sister, finally Quinn spoke up.

"Daddy, we don't have an actual present for you this year."

"That's fine honey. I don't need a gift to…"

She interrupted him mid-sentence.

"What I meant to say is that we did something for you instead."

"Okay…"

He waited for her to continue.

"Well…it's not really for you. It's more like we did something for someone else…"

Clay was now thoroughly confused.

"Just tell me honey."

"You know AJ and I have been working to earn some extra money, right?" Clay nodded his assent. "We pooled our money together and made a donation to Folds of Honor* in your name."

AJ jumped in. "We know how lucky we are to have you. We also know that a lot of kids whose Dad's have served aren't so lucky. Their Fathers were killed defending our country, like you do. So, we, we thought that we could help support them, since they don't have a Dad to celebrate with today."

"I hope that's okay Daddy. Sorry we don't have a real gift for you," Quinn added.

Clay couldn't speak. There was no way he could get any words past the lump in his throat. He was so proud of his children. He and Emma had always taught them about the sacrifices that people in the military made. And, of course, there were personally familiar with the dangers of the job and with what the families of service members gave up too. They had taken this lesson to heart and gave of their time and efforts to support it.

Emma stepped over and laid her hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her. She was smiling with pride as well.

"Did you know about this?"

"Yes. They told me their plans."

He tried to collect himself to express his gratitude and deep love for them.

"I am so proud of both of you. There really isn't a better gift you could have given me today. Truly, this is the best Father's Day present I could ever think of. Thank you."

Clay stood up and held his arms out to both of them. He held them for a moment and kissed each on the head, before releasing his hold. Quinn beamed visibly at his praise, whereas AJ sat quietly, but his eyes were shining with pleasure at his Father's words.

"Well now, what should we do today," he asked them.

"I think that's up to you Dad. It's your day," Quinn responded.

"Okay then… I'd kind of like to go fishing down at the pier. We can eat at that fun little restaurant and make a day of it. What do you say?"

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement with the plan.

Emma cut in, "That sounds great honey. We can go from there over to Dad's. Remember, we're supposed to have dinner with him tonight."

He kissed her quickly before responding.

"I remember. We have that set of BBQ tools to give him."

With that, the kids left to go shower. He helped Emma put the dishes into the dishwasher and finish cleaning up the kitchen. Before she could leave to go get ready for their day, he wrapped her in his arms and spoke quietly in between several nibbling kisses.

"Those are some great kids you're raising Mrs. Spenser."

"Thank you. But I can't take all the credit," she paused to return his affections. "They have a wonderful Father."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The footprint and poem from Emma and Quinn is exactly what we did for my husband's first Father's Day. :)-  
> *Folds of Honor is a great organization that provides scholarships to the families of fallen & disabled service members.


	13. Baby on Board

CH 13- Baby on Board

It had only been about a month and a half since Emma and Clay discovered they were going to be parents. Although they were excited, they kept their amazing secret to themselves. Waiting to make sure things were going well and that the baby was healthy before they shared the news. Clay was used to keeping things classified. But on more than one occasion his cheerful demeaner and perpetual grin almost gave him away.

Even though Emma was equally as happy, the weeks had not been so easy for her. She pushed herself through the workday by sheer will and then came home and collapsed on the couch until it was time for bed. She was tired all the time and couldn't stomach much of anything. She felt so guilty that on top of his work and any spin-ups, Clay was taking care of almost everything at home. He on the other hand didn't think he was doing enough. The dark circles under her eyes and her constant nausea tore at his heart. He felt responsible for her condition and did whatever he could to ease her situation. He became so concerned that he called and consulted her doctor. The doctor assured him that as long as Emma wasn't losing weight, was keeping hydrated, and could keep the pre-natal vitamins down, things would be fine. She was nearing the end of her first Trimester and her symptoms should start to go away on their own.

Right now, he was in the kitchen heating up some soup for her and cleaning up the morning's dishes while she dozed on the couch, Koda laying protectively at her feet. When the microwave indicated that her chicken-noodle was warm, he sat it on the tray along with some crackers and a glass of ginger ale. He carried to her and roused her softly, coaxing her to try and eat for the baby.

"Em, honey. Your soup is ready. Do you think you can eat some?"

She stretched and sat herself upright. "Yea, I can try." He sat the tray on her lap and took a seat next to her on the sofa. "Where's your meal?"

"I ate while you were asleep."

Her eyes filled with tears that spilled over onto her pale cheeks. "I'm so sorry. All I do is lay around and you have to do everything. And then…I can't even stay awake to talk to you when you get home."

Clay reached out and tenderly wiped the tears from her face. "Babe. Don't be sorry. This," he gestured to the bowl and around at the apartment, "this is all I can do. You're doing all the hard work here."

"But…"

He held a finger to her lips and then slid his hand down to cover her stomach. "Honey, all I did today was run drills. You…you're growing a baby in there, our baby. So, don't apologize. I just wish I could do more."

She sniffed and nodded as he placed a kiss against her head. Picking up her utensil, she took a few small spoonfuls of soup. Clay watched and sighed with relief when she grabbed a couple crackers and munched them down as well.

"Do you want to look at some houses again tonight," he asked, picking up the laptop.

"Mmmhmm."

They had begun their house search and had narrowed it down to two neighborhoods that were safe, had good schools, and were close enough to both the base and Emma's work. There were a few houses that caught their eye and Clay sent off an email to the realtor to get more information.

Emma finished her entire bowl of soup and Clay took her dishes in and loaded them into the dishwasher. When he returned, he lowered himself next to her and she leaned into his embrace.

"How're you feeling?"

"Okay, I think. The soup actually tasted good to me, thanks."

"That's great babe." He kissed her brow and drew his fingertips up and down her arm. "When do you think we should start telling everyone?"

"Anytime now, I guess. I'll be 13 weeks this weekend. I was hoping to start feeling better before we tell Dad, but I don't want to put it off too long."

"Okay. Do you want to invite him over for dinner?"

"Yea. We can surprise him with that T-shirt I got for him."

They talked a little longer about how to tell the rest of the family and Clay's team, and then Emma drifted off again.

Emma felt a little better with each day. She was still incredibly tired, but she the queasiness was starting to dissipate. When Friday came, she was able to help with the meal preparation without fighting back waves of nausea. At 6:00 sharp, Jason's firm wrap sounded on the apartment door. Clay welcomed him in and thanked him for the bottle of wine he brought.

"Hi Em? How are you feeling," he asked as he leaned to greet her.

"What to do you mean?"

"The last time we got together you looked peaked. I thought maybe you had caught a little flu or something."

Shaking her head and glancing slyly at her husband she quickly brushed off the comment. "Nope. I'm not sick. So, no worries. Why don't we go ahead and sit down?"

Clay opened the bottle Jason brought and poured a glass for himself and Jason, Emma had a glass of water at her place. Jason sat down and noticed the small package sitting on his plate.

"Hey! What's this?"

"Just a little surprise for you," Emma answered anxiously.

"A surprise…for what?"

Emma was fidgeting nervously in her seat. Clay reached beneath the table and squeezed her hand.

"It's just a little something Em found for you Jace. Why don't you open it?"

Jason's eyes darted back and forth between the two of them. Something was up, he just couldn't put his finger on it. He lifted the lid on the box and pulled out a grey shirt with some lettering. Holding it up to get a better look he started to read aloud.

"The Best Dads Get Promoted to Grandpa."

It took a few seconds to sink in before he dropped the garment on the table and sought out Emma's face.

"Emmie, are you…does this mean what I think?"

Emma smiled and nodded. "Yes. We're having a baby. You're going to be a Grandpa."

He jumped up from the table and grabbed her into a bear hug. As he held her, she could feel the dampness on his cheek as he pressed it to hers.

"Oh my God! A baby! I…I..."

He set her down and stepped back, only to pull her into another hug.

"Are you happy Daddy?"

"Happy?! Are you kidding? Yes…yes, I'm happy."

He turned to Clay and reached for his hand. The two started to shake, but then the older man pulled Clay into a hug and thumped him on the back. When they sat back down and started on dinner, he peppered the couple with questions.

"So, you weren't sick then. How are you feeling? How is the baby? When are you due?"

Emma laughed as she tried to answer him. "I'm doing okay, feeling better all the time."

Clay cut in. "It has been tough on her. She's had a lot of 'Morning Sickness,' but she's been a trooper." He took her hand and brought it to his lips.

"It hasn't been easy. But I think I'm finally starting to feel better. The baby is doing just fine. The doctor has my due date in late March."

They finally got around to eating and Emma was surprisingly hungry. By the time her Dad left to go home, he was almost as excited as they were.

Day by day, week by week, Emma was feeling better and getting her energy back. Clay felt so much better about having to leave her knowing that she was no longer suffering so many ill affects of the pregnancy. In fact, this current mission, which had the potential to last a couple weeks would have left him wracked with guilt if she were still so run down and unable to eat. He sat on the C17, going over the intel and their plan again when Vic came and sat next to him.

"Hey Boss. Touchdown in 30 minutes. Everything still a go?"

"Wha…? Oh yea. No changes. We'll get the lay of the land when we get in and then let HAVOC set up surveillance."

Clay passed the packet of papers to his 2IC to review. As Vic flipped through, he got to a smaller paper. It was a grainy, black and white image. He couldn't quite make it out. The lettering at the top said, "Spenser, Emma….3 Mos." He looked closer at the image and then it struck him what he was looking at.

"Uh, boss? Clay? I think this is yours," he said, passing the paper back to Clay. "Is that, I mean, are you and Emma having a baby?"

Clay accepted back the Ultrasound photo and tucked it in his pocket. "Oh, didn't mean to get that mixed in there. But…yea. Em's pregnant. She's past the first few months now, so we're starting to tell people."

"You're really gonna be a Dad?"

Not able to contain his grin, Clay answered. "Yea. I'm really gonna be a Father. The baby's due at the end of March."

Vic shook his hand and then called for the team's attention. "Guys, guys, listen up. I jut got an important piece of intel from Bravo 1 to share with you all." Everyone waited, listening intently. "I just found out that Spenser here is going to be a Daddy."

Everyone cheered, slapped him on the back and offered their congratulations. Even if he weren't thousands of miles in the air aboard a plane, his feet wouldn't have touched the ground.

Bravo had been gone for two weeks and Clay finally had some down time to contact Emma. He waited impatiently for her to answer his Face Time call. After a few rings, her face appeared on the screen.

"Hi baby. How are you doing?"

She immediately burst into tears and Clay was terrified. "Honey, what's wrong? Are you okay? Is it the baby?"

"I'm fine, we're fine," she sniffed. "I didn't mean to scare you. I…I'm…"

"Are you sure babe?"

"Yea. I'm sorry. When I saw you, I couldn't help it. It's these damn hormones. I've been crying about everything."

Clay chuckled at her. "Sorry I'm laughing. I'm just happy you're both okay."

"You won't be laughing when you get home and have to deal with all the water works."

"I'll be happy to deal with whatever as long as you and the baby are healthy." She started to tear up again. "Hey, did you know that the baby is the size of an avocado now?"

"What? How did you know that?"

"I downloaded that app we've been following."

Every Friday they would curl up in bed and Emma would tell him about the size of the baby, it's development and what her body was going through. But, of course, this week he wasn't there with her.

"You downloaded it?"

"Well…yea. I didn't want to miss out."

She started crying again and Clay tried to sooth her. He heard a whining in the background and Emma excused herself for a moment. She sat back down and before he knew it, Koda jumped up on the bed beside her and nudged his head under her hand.

"What's up with him?"

"Oh, I closed him on the other side of the door. I think he knows…somehow. He won't let me leave his sight."

"Good boy." Clay spoke through the laptop and the dog's head tilted to the side when he heard a voice he recognized. "Good boy, Koda. Thanks for looking out for her while I'm gone buddy."

Emma patted the furry head and he laid next to her stomach.

"How are you feeling babe?"

"Emotional, tired, hungry. I've gone from puking at the mention of food to wanting to eat everything in sight. I'm starting to show too."

She whipped off her shirt to show him her slightly rounded belly. Anyone that was not as intimately familiar with her body as Clay was would probably not even notice. But he could tell, and his face was beaming with joy. He became aware that another part of her body was fuller as well. His eyes widened as he took in the curves of her breasts.

"Yea," she giggled. "Those are getting bigger too."

He sputtered a bit at begin caught staring and she just laughed. They were talking when Emma gasped and placed a hand on her stomach.

"What? Are you okay Em?"

She laughed and tears slid down her cheeks. "Yea…I…Wow. I just felt the baby. I mean it moved and I felt it. It's the first time that happened."

"Oh my God. How…what does is feel like," he asked wistfully.

"Kinda like a butterfly, or a little fish swimming around. It's really in there. I mean, I knew that, but now…"

There was a knock and Vic stuck his head in the room. "Honey, I have to go. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. We're okay here. Go kick ass and come home, alright?"

"I love you Em. I love you both!"

"We love you too!"

Emma was waiting in the lot at the base. After two and a half weeks away, she was eager to have her husband back. She paced back and forth smiling weakly at the other wives and families that were there. Finally, the gate opened, and Clay came jogging over to her. She threw herself into his arms and immediately started sobbing.

"Shhh. Shhh babe. It's okay. I'm home. I'm home now."

Emma stepped back and breathed deeply, trying to calm herself. "I'm sorry. I can't seem to control it."

"It's fine honey. You're fine." He looked in her eyes and placed a tender kiss on her lips. "I missed you Em."

Emma responded enthusiastically and pulled him down for a more passionate kiss. She pressed herself against him and her hands roamed down to his firm ass. There were some catcalls and comments from the team as they passed. She blushed and immediately pulled her hands away.

"Sorry," she smirked at him and her eyes twinkled. "I told you I can't control myself."

Clay was a little embarrassed, but more aroused. As a result of her health, they hadn't been truly intimate in weeks.

He whispered in her ear. "Hold that thought."

All he could think about was getting home and taking her to bed. He grabbed her hand and hurried to get into the car and get going. Once they arrived at the apartment, they attacked each other and left a trail of clothing from the front door to the bed.

As they laid amidst the sheets, cuddled together, Emma's stomach growled loudly. Clay laughed and she blushed.

"Hungry babe?"

"Yes. I didn't fix anything. I was planning on stopping on the way home for dinner somewhere."

"We can order in, no problem."

"I want a burger and fries. Oh! And chocolate cake."

"Yes ma'am," he laughed.

"What?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"How long until the food's here?"

"About 30 minutes, why?"

She didn't answer, just plucked the phone from his hands, and straddled him.

"Good, just enough time," she growled as she took his mouth.

It appeared her appetite was back, both of them.

While Bravo was off rotation, they found the perfect house and put in an offer. It didn't take long to hear that their offer had been accepted. They were overjoyed. The family did want to stay in the house through Thanksgiving, so they had to wait a little longer to move in. At least it gave them plenty of time to pack and purchase furnishings. They took their time selecting the furniture for the baby's room, making sure it was exactly what they wanted for their little one.

Much to Clay's delight the baby's kicks grew strong enough for him to feel. In bed at night he would lay his hand across her stomach and talk to the baby. They discussed names and finding out the gender, but Emma was adamant that she wanted to be surprised. Clay didn't mind. He would be overjoyed with a son or daughter, as long as the baby was healthy. But secretly, he wanted a little girl, one that looked just like her mama.

On moving day, they had plenty of help. Their Bravo family past and present turned out in force to lend a hand. Clay wouldn't let Emma lift anything, and neither would any of the guys, so she contented herself with directing traffic and unpacking boxes as they were brought in. It was late in the afternoon before the last box was lifted off the truck and brought into the house. The couple thanked everyone profusely, waved goodbye and turned to get back to organizing. As they neared the door, Clay swept her up into his arms, surprising her.

"What are you doing?"

"Carrying my wife over the threshold of our home."

"You're crazy."

"Yep, about you." They both laughed and Clay kissed her firmly as they stepped inside.

The holidays flew past as Clay and Emma tried to finish settling into their house after work and in between missions. Jason stopped by often to offer his help and check up on Emma. As her due date neared, she was frantic to get the nursery put together. The men painted and put together furniture. And Clay spent many nights arranging and rearranging to suit Emma's whims.

Each time the team got spun up Clay got more and more nervous about leaving Emma alone and enlisted Jason and Naima to check in on her multiple times a day. He prayed that he would be home and not in some far-off country when she went into labor.

As February drew to a close Spring bloomed and so did Emma. She joked that although Clay was a SEAL, she was getting to be the size of one. He would wrap her in his embrace and kiss away her insecurities. Her current gait, resembling a waddle, actually reminded him more of a duck. But he wisely kept those comparisons to himself. She was beautiful and he couldn't believe how lucky he was. All his dreams were coming true and it was all due to

Emma was exhausted again. The baby was large and poked and prodded at her day and night. She couldn't find any comfortable positions whether sitting up or laying down. When she did get to sleep, her bladder woke her almost hourly for a trip to the bathroom. She got so grouchy that she even got on her own nerves. Clay endured it all patiently, knowing that she couldn't help it. That made her feel guilty and even more cross with herself.

As her due date came and went, they were both frustrated. Emma felt like she would be pregnant forever and Clay assured her that it couldn't be much longer. They settled in for another long night. Somewhere around two o'clock he awoke to the sound of Emma's moans. She was thrashing her head back and forth on the pillow.

"Babe…Emma. Em, what's going on?"

She drew in a breath and braced herself against the pain. As the contraction struck, she grasped his hand and squeezed with surprising strength. The pain passed and unbelievably she looked at him with a smile.

"I think…I think it's time."

"It's time?"

"I think so. It's finally time to meet our baby."

They looked at each other for a quiet moment, a moment before their lives changed forever. This was the last time it would be just the two of them. Later today, they would be a family.

"I love you baby," he breathed before kissing her.

"I love you too."


	14. Legacy

CH 14-Legacy

Emma had just gotten the kids on the bus and was getting ready to head to the grocery, when the phone rang, She didn't recognize the number, but she learned long ago, from her Mom, that when you have a loved one in the service, you answer the phone.

"Hello."

"Good morning, may I speak with Clay Spenser, please?"

Ugh! A telemarketer, she didn't have the time or patience to deal with this right now.

"No, he's unavailable at the moment, goodbye."

"Please, ma'am. Please, don't hang up."

"Listen, I don't need to buy anything, and we already support several charities, thanks."

"Ma'am, I'm not trying to sell you something. My name is Martin Walker, of Haslett, Green & Walker. I am Mr. Ashland Spenser's attorney."

"Alright…" she answered hesitantly.

"I need to speak to Mr. Clay Spenser."

"He's ahhh…he's not at home right now and I don't know when he'll be back."

"Ahh, yes, Mr. Spenser is in the service, of course. I suppose under the circumstances…"

"Sir, can you please tell me what this is about?"

"You are his wife; you are Mrs. Emma Spenser?"

How did he know her name? What was going on?

"I am. Now can you please tell me what in the world is going on?"

"Ma'am I have the sad duty of informing you that Mr. Ashland Spenser has passed away."

Emma pulled a chair away from the table and sat down with a thud.

"Okay…" she wasn't quite sure what to say. They had no contact with Clay's father after he had shown up on their doorstep several years ago.

"Mrs. Spenser? Are you still there?"

"Yea, ahhh, yes, I…I'm here. Sorry," she responded while shaking her head, trying to clear her jumbled thoughts.

"As I was saying, Mr. Spenser has passed. He died two weeks ago, of a heart attack."

There was another long pause before Emma answered.

"Um, thank you for letting us know. I will pass the information along to my husband."

"I understand that Mr. Spenser and his son were…well…estranged."

"Yes. That would be one way to put it."

"Due to that fact, your husband may not be aware of my client's Will and last wishes."

"No, we aren't."

"Well… Mr. Spenser was a very successful author and had many lucrative speaking engagements also."

He let the words lay, perhaps hoping that Emma would be impressed. When she didn't respond, he continued.

"In any case, he left behind a sizeable inheritance. And, he left it, all of it, to his son."

Emma's head was spinning. She could barely wrap her mind around Ash's death and how to break the news to Clay, let alone this additional bombshell.

"He did what?!"

"His Will clearly states that all of his assets were to go to his son, Clay Spenser. I assume this is somewhat of a shock?"

"Yea…uh…yes, completely."

"I will be sending you some papers in the mail to get the necessary information from your husband to transfer the holdings and bank accounts. You will need to have it Notarized. It should arrive in about 5 business days. In the meantime, please feel free to call my office if you have any questions. Thank you, Mrs. Spenser."

Emma sat with the phone still held to her ear for several more moments even after the call had disconnected. She felt as if she was in some sort of parallel universe or the butt of a colossal joke. After all the abuse, alienating and antagonizing that he had done, Ash now left some sort of inheritance?

She finally put the phone down and stood up. There was nothing she could do about all this now. Bravo was gone for a mission and Clay didn't know for sure when they would get back. This was certainly not anything she wanted to tell him over the phone or via a video chat. Happy that today was one of her two days a week that she wasn't teaching, she decided to just go about her day and figure this all out later.

Even though they shared everything, Clay was very private about anything that involved his father and his childhood before he went to live with his Grandparents. He told her about some of the abuse and neglect he had endured at the hands of his father, and just that small bit horrified her and made her heart break for him. She also knew that she was the only one that he had ever confided in about any of it. But, her dad and most any of his Bravo brothers knew about Ash's reputation as an Operator and how he sold out the brotherhood and his own son for notoriety and monetary gain.

For all of these reasons, and how he had scarred Clay, literally and emotionally, she knew she didn't want anything to do with Ash Spenser or his money. She couldn't imagine what Clay's reaction was going to be. So, when the papers arrived from the law office, she set them aside without opening the envelope. The next few days until Clay and the team returned were busy, as always. Emma managed to push thoughts about Ash Spenser aside for the present.

A few days later Bravo was back. Clay got home late at night, kissed the kids without disturbing them and slid into bed next to his wife. He hated to wake her, but he couldn't resist wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. She did stir when she felt his embrace and rolled over to face him.

"Welcome home honey. Everyone good?"

"Yea, we're all fine," he said and then placed a kiss on her cheek. "Sorry I woke you babe."

"No, don't be sorry. I always want to know that you're home safe," she responded and returned his kiss.

"Go back to sleep Em. We can talk in the morning."

"Mmmm."

She snuggled into him and soon they were both asleep.

The next morning was Saturday. Everyone was happy it was the weekend, and once the kids realized that their dad was home, they were ecstatic to be able to spend the day with him. They watched cartoons all morning and then went to the park for a picnic, not returning until past dinner. Then they all settled in on the couch for a movie. When it was over, they tucked the kids in and went back downstairs for some alone time. They cuddled together on the couch in the quiet. Emma knew she had to tell him about his dad.

"Honey?"

"Yea?"

"I had a call while you were gone."

He sat up straighter and moved to look at her face.

"About what? Is something wrong?"

She didn't really know how to tell him. She reached for his hand and laced her fingers through his.

"Clay…Ash's lawyer called," she could feel him automatically tense up. "Ash died of a heart attack a few weeks ago."

She watched a myriad of emotions play across his face. He stood up and started to pace across the floor.

"Good riddance," he spat out.

He grit his teeth and his swallowed hard. Turning back to her she could see his chin quiver slightly and the flutter of his lids as he blinked back tears.

"World's better off without that…that…" He couldn't finish and swiped his hand across his eyes.

He sat back down next to her and exhaling loudly and pulled her onto his lap. He buried his face in her hair.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled against her.

"Sorry? For what?"

"For reacting like that."

She smoothed her hand up and down his arm.

"Don't apologize. You have a right to your feelings."

He nodded and blew out another breath.

"Clay…there's more."

"More…what? What do you mean?"

Emma rose and retrieved the envelope from the lawyer's office. She sat back down next to him and handed it to him.

"That's from his attorney." She paused, looking for the right words. "I guess Ash made a decent amount of money from his books and things. And…he left it to you."

"What?! Why would he…after everything, thinking he can buy me off, buy my forgiveness."

He threw the envelope to the floor as if he had been burned. He raked his fingers through his hair over and over.

"I don't want anything from him. I don't need anything from him."

"I know that honey. But it's yours, legally, like it or not."

"Do you, do you want me to open it," she asked softly.

Clay shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

"If you want."

She tore open the envelope and pulled out the stack of papers inside. In addition to the documents relating to Ash's holdings, there was what appeared to be a hand-written note to Clay. Emma held it out to him, but he couldn't raise his hand to take it.

"Could you? Please Em…"

Emma cleared her throat and began to read,

Clay- If you're reading this, I guess I'm dead. And I'm guessing you're not too broken up about that. I know we aren't close because of all that stuff from when you were a kid. But that's water under the bridge. You turned out pretty good any way so you must have gotten at least a few of my traits. I know you're still a pipe-hitter so you can probably use the money. I figured that you could leave it to your kids as a legacy.

Emma folded up the letter and held it out to him. Clay had been silent as she read but let go in a tirade as he shredded the piece of paper.

"Legacy?! Legacy my ass. Why would I want them to have anything from you…fucking bastard!"

After he tore up the note, he stalked across the room and threw it in the garbage. Then he stood there with his back turned, leaning on the counter, head bowed. Emma could see his shoulders shaking and then his legs buckled beneath him. The weight of the memories and his emotions was too great. Emma went to him, wrapping her arms around him and pulling his head to lay against her shoulder. They both wept. They cried for the broken little boy, for the childhood and father he wanted, but never had.

"I don't want his legacy Em," he managed through the tears. "I don't want to pass anything of him along to our kids."

"You don't honey. You don't. You are the best dad. You love them more than anything and they know that. We are all so lucky to have you babe."

She kissed his head and rubbed his shoulders and back, trying to sooth him. He took a few deep breaths and sat up.

"He's right though. I won't be able to leave them anything when I die, no inheritance."

"We might not be able to leave them any money. But the legacy you're leaving them is so much more important than money. You are leaving them love. Love of family and friends, love of your country. You show them the value of service and sacrifice."

She framed his face with her hands and looked directly into his eyes to make sure he heard every word.

"You are a good man Clay Spenser. You are an amazing husband and a wonderful father. Your children adore you and I love you more than anything. I always have."

She kissed him fiercely and he held on tight until he could relax and breath easy again. The stood up slowly and made their way upstairs to sleep and hopefully move on from this and from his past. The legal documents laying forgotten on the table.

Emma awoke the next morning and found Clay downstairs, drinking coffee, and going over the pages from the lawyer. She went over and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned to kiss his cheek.

"Good morning, you didn't get much rest. How are you doing this morning?"

"Morning babe. I'm better, thanks," he turned his head slightly and pecked her lips.

She fixed herself a mug an sat down beside him.

"So…you decided to look into those?"

"Yea. I need to know what I'm dealing with here."

He passed her the pages and when she saw the amounts listed, her brows flew up.

"Whoa! That's… that's a lot of money."

"Yea," he sighed.

"You okay?"

"I just…I don't want this. I don't want any of it. But it could help out our kids. Am I being selfish to deny them just because of my issues with Ash? Am I wrong Em? Should I accept this?"

She laid her hand over his and answered him.

"Honey, I can't tell you what to do. But I will support whatever decision you make."

"I don't want him to have anything to do with my family. If we put this money back for them, I'll have to explain one day where it came from and who Ash was and why they never knew him. I…I don't want them to have the burden of knowing all that. I know that's cowardly…"

"Hey," she interrupted. "You are not a coward. You are only trying to shield them, to keep them from being hurt. You are protecting them, like you always do."

He lifted her hand to his lips, turned it over and pressed a kiss into her palm.

"Thank you, Em."

She got up and slid onto his lap and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Do we have to decide now? What if you wait a little, think it over, and then make a decision?"

He nuzzled into her neck and mumbled a response.

"That's a good idea. Let's do that."

They put the stack of pages up and left them lay for a few weeks as life went on. Emma said nothing, not wanting to rush him.

Finally, about a month later, they had just snuggled into bed when he broached the subject.

"I think I've decided honey."

"Hmmm?"

"About the money."

She lifted her head from its place on his chest to look at him and tightened her arm around him, letting him know that he had her support.

"So…I was thinking, we could donate to some organizations that support service members and their families. That way," he chuckled, "that way Ash will finally be doing some good for someone other than himself. What do you think?"

She looked up at him and smiled with pride.

"I think that's an excellent idea."

"I…I know the kids could probably use it down the line, but…"

"You give Quinn and AJ and me everything we need, every day."

He looked at her eyes that were full of gratitude and love for him and felt overwhelmed. He spoke past the lump in his throat.

"Alright then. I'll arrange it with the lawyer."

He kissed her lips softly and closed his eyes to sleep. Emma prayed that this would help him finally lay Ash and the pain he had caused to rest for good.


	15. Hall Pass

CH 15-Hall Pass

Days were busy in the Spenser household, and weekends were no exception. This Saturday featured two soccer games going on at the same time. Thank goodness the fields were at the same complex; they weren't always that lucky. Clay and Emma supported the kids' activities wholeheartedly. In fact, he would have loved to have coached one of the teams, but the unreliability of his schedule didn't allow for that. He did work with them when he could. Setting up a small goal in the back yard and teaching them some skills. He'd learned to play after going to live with his Grandparents in Liberia. They had played in the dirt with an old, patched-up ball. It was one of the activities that almost all the kids at the mission had taken part in.

After his morning shower, he descended the stairs, and found Emma in the kitchen, scrambling some eggs. He started to set the table and pour the juice and milk. As Emma put the eggs and sausage on the table AJ slid into his seat.

"Good morning son."

"Morning Daddy."

Before either one of them could wonder about Quinn, she tumbled down the stairs, sat her athletic bag next to the couch, and joined them at the table.

"Good morning," she piped up cheerfully.

Emma reached over his shoulder to set a cup of coffee by his plate and then took her own seat.

"Thanks babe," he leaned to kiss her cheek.

The table was silent for a moment as everyone concentrated on their food.

"You guys ready for your games today?"

AJ just nodded and continued eating, but Quinn answered right away.

"Uh huh. Coach said I might get to start today."

"That's great honey. I'm really proud of you," Clay answered.

Quinn beamed at his praise. She started to chatter on about the game until Emma interrupted.

"Quinn, you need to finish your breakfast. We have to leave in 20 minutes and you still need to help me with the team snack, okay?"

They finished their meal and cleared the table. Clay went with AJ upstairs to get his bag ready. Being in first grade the boy still needed some guidance to make sure he had everything. Quinn helped her mother gather the apple-sauce pouches and drinks for the team and put them in a tote by the door.

Emma was filling up their water bottles when the guys came back down, and Clay started to load everything into the car.

"We ready to go," he asked as he came back inside.

"I need help with my hair," Quinn stated.

They both looked at their daughter fumbling with her brush to get her unruly curls into a ponytail. Emma was still busy, so Clay stepped in.

"Come here honey."

She handed him the brush and hair tie and stood in front of him. He worked the bristles through her curls gently and then twisted the elastic into place to hold her hair back.

"Thanks Daddy."

"Sure thing. Now let's get going."

Quinn grabbed her bag and all of them were out the door. The arrived at the fields and piled out of the car. Clay grabbed the large tote full of snacks for Quinn's team and Emma handed AJ and Quinn their bags from the trunk.

"Okay," Emma scanned down the team schedules she had in her hand. "Quinn's game is on field 12 starting at 10:00 and AJ's is on field 3 starting at 10:30."

They headed toward the field to find Quinn's team. When they arrived, Quinn split off and went to gather with the rest of her team doing stretches. Emma, Clay, and AJ found seats on the bleachers and greeted the rest of the families.

The game started on time and Quinn was on the field as a Striker. For a team of third and fourth graders, they did pretty well. Soon Quinn was on a break away with a shot on goal. It was a good attempt, but the goalie managed to deflect it at the last second. Now Clay couldn't keep seated, he got up and started pacing the sidelines, cheering Quinn on. Emma smiled at his enthusiasm and took a few pictures of his wild gesturing.

At about 10:20 she got up with AJ and gathered his things to get him over to the field where his game was about to kick-off. They walked up behind Clay and she got his attention.

"It's time for AJ's game so we're headed over. Do you want to stay here with Quinn, and I'll watch his game?"

"Sure. That alright with you buddy," he asked the boy. "I can come over at half-time and check in, okay?"

AJ agreed and the two set off as Clay focused his attention back on the game in front of him. Right as he turned, Quinn made a beautiful pass to her teammate that ended in a goal. Everyone cheered, as they were now up 1-0. Clay whistled and clapped for his girl.

"Way to go Quinnie! Way to go!"

After that, the coach switched up some of the players to give others some playing time, and Quinn ended up on the bench. The players sat right in front of the bleachers and could hear some of comments from the spectators. When Quinn heard someone mention her dad, her ears perked up. She turned slightly and saw a few of the moms looking her dad's direction. She couldn't make out the whole conversation, and what she did hear didn't make any sense to the eight-and-a-half-year-old.

The game broke for half-time and Quinn handed out the water bottles and fruit squeezes to her team as they rested and listened to the coach. Clay walked over to AJ's game and checked in with Emma. Their son hadn't played yet but was expected to go in soon. Since she was able to make it to more of their games, and had seen them both play multiple times, Emma offered to let her husband stay and watch AJ while she went back to cheer on Quinn.

The second half of Quinn's game was uneventful and ended with her team victorious. Emma waited on her daughter to get her things and they went over to watch the rest of AJ's game. The team of first and second graders weren't quite as lucky, and ended up losing their contest, 3-1. AJ was understandably let down at the loss. But Clay was still proud of his boy and made sure he knew it, scooping him up and carrying him back to the car on his shoulders.

They got loaded back into the car and started for home. Consulting Emma before making a decision, Clay stopped at their favorite pizza place for lunch. The kids cheered from their place in the back seat. The family went in and found a table. Everything was fine until a small skirmish broke out over the pizza toppings. Quinn wanted pepperoni and AJ, plain cheese. When Quinn called her brother a baby and told him he could just pick off the unwanted topping, Clay intervened.

"Quinn, no name-calling."

She crossed her arms and huffed. "Yes sir."

"We can do a large with pepperoni and AJ, you can get your own with just cheese, okay?'

The waitress took their order and then dropped off their drinks and some breadsticks. Quinn and AJ dove in and both adults were thankful for the momentary respite and relative silence.

Their meal arrived promptly, and they dug into the fresh pie. When out of no where Quinn threw out a question that had Clay choking on his slice of pizza.

"What's a DILF?"

Her parents' eyes swung to her face in disbelief. Quinn's innocent expression met their gaze. Emma's mouth still hung open so when he had himself under control, Clay questioned her.

"What…where did you hear that?"

"I heard Ms. Lewis and Mrs. Stein talking during the game."

Emma nodded for her to go on.

"Ms. Lewis said dad was a D-I-L-F. Is that something with your job? I thought you were a SEAL."

"I…I am, that's not…it doesn't," he sputtered, looking to Emma for help.

Emma found her voice and was able to formulate a response.

"Quinn, that's a silly word that some grown-ups use. It's really not appropriate for someone your age and I'm sorry you had to hear it."

"Inappropriate…like when Daddy dropped the weights on his foot and yelled, 'SH-'."

"Quinn," Clay stopped her and pinned her with a look.

"Sorry," she shrugged with a grin on her face.

"It's not really a curse word. Just not something that you should repeat."

Since Quinn had brough it up, Emma was curious as to what else had been said.

"Did Ms. Lewis say anything else?"

The girl shook her head and they started to sigh in relief as she spoke again.

"No, but then Mrs. Stein said something about school."

"School?"

"Yea. She said she wished she could get a hall pass."

Emma looked at Clay and he was red up to his ears. They dropped the line of questioning and finished the meal in silence.

The remainder of the day passed with household chores and homework. They were both tired from their busy day, so Clay and Emma retired not long after the kids were asleep. When she exited the bathroom, he was sitting in bed, shirtless, reading a book. She sat down on her side of the bed and started to smooth lotion onto her legs. The motion got Clay's attention and he noticed that she was wearing one of his t-shirts to sleep in. It always did something to him to see her in his clothes. He could tell that she was thinking about something by the far away look on her face.

He sat his book down on the nightstand and slid over towards her, placing a small kiss on her neck, just behind her ear.

"Wanna tell me what you're thinking about?"

She replaced the cap on the lotion, sat it down, and turned to face him.

"I was just thinking about what Quinn overheard today."

"Yea. It's a little crazy and embarrassing."

Emma could see him flush a little and she wanted to have some fun. She drew her fingers slowly down his chest, bit her lip and then looked up at him through her lashes.

"They do have excellent taste though."

He caught on to her game and rolled them until she was laying stretched on top of him.

"So, you don't want a 'hall pass'," he asked before claiming her lips in a hungry kiss.

Sliding down to tease his nipples with her tongue she answered as his breathing grew more labored.

"Nope. You are definitely the only Dad I'd like to f-"

He didn't let her finish but pulled her up to him and whipped his shirt off her. She wanted to taunt him just a little more. As she rotated her hips on top of the bulge in his boxer briefs, she asked one, final question.

"How about you, hmmm? Any need for a 'hall-pass'?"

He licked his lips and answered as he fondled her breasts.

"None," he said emphatically. He smirked and continued. "You might have to send me to detention after this though, Mrs. Spenser."

"Maybe you can earn some extra credit."

Growling low in his throat he rolled her under his body and decided to try for an 'A-plus'.


	16. Calling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got into my brain today. Please leave a review if you enjoyed it. Thanks!

Emma was getting dinner ready when Clay walked in the front door, home from work. After years of accommodating his unpredictable schedule while on Bravo, she was happy that he had somewhat regular hours now. Taking over her dad's security consulting business was a hard transition for her husband. He was a man of action and having to put in hours behind a desk wasn't his favorite. He was at loose ends after he had retired from DEVGRU and Jason's offer gave him some purpose again.

Clay walked into the kitchen and stopped behind his wife, who was stirring something on the stove. Wrapping his arms around her, he bent and placed a series of small kisses to her neck.

"Mmmmm, welcome home."

"Thanks babe."

Emma turned and offered her lips for a proper kiss.

"That smells delicious."

"You hungry?"

"Yep, starving. I didn't get much for lunch today. I had to drive over to a job site and check on an installation."

"Well, this is almost done."

"Good. What can I do to help?"

"Uh, you could set the table and call AJ down."

"Sure thing, honey."

AJ was their only child at home now. Quinn was in her Sophomore year at Georgetown. She was in their pre-law program. She had decided that she wanted to pursue a career as a lawyer. But, more than that, she had informed everyone that she wanted to carry on the family tradition of serving in the Navy and was working toward a Direct Appointment to the JAG Corps once she graduated Law School. Both Clay and Emma were extremely proud.

As they sat down to dinner, AJ entered the kitchen and joined them. The seventeen-year-old was a couple inches taller than his father, inheriting some of his grandfather's height. AJ did have Clay's wide blue eyes, and his sandy blonde hair held a bit of curl

The three dug into their meal and conversation began to flow. Clay and Emma had always viewed the family dinner table as a place to share about everyone's day. They discussed Clay's newest client, Emma's preparation for another school year, and their never-ending list of home maintenance projects. Both noticed that their son was uncharacteristically quiet and had been since returning from his annual Summer trip to Texas to help out Sonny on the ranch. Clay tried to draw his son into the conversation.

"Still resting up, son?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah."

"You seem more tired this year. Sonny pawn all the hard labor off on you this trip," Clay teased.

"Well, Uncle Sonny did give me more responsibilities this time. It was a lot of work and I didn't want to let him down."

Emma reached over and squeezed his hand.

"I'm sure you could never do that."

"You think you'll be rested up by the weekend? I'm gonna need some help painting the front porch."

"Yea, yea, sure, Dad."

After that, AJ retreated back into his own thoughts as they finished their meal. When his plate was empty, he rose, put it in the dishwasher and moved to go back up to his room. Clay's voice stopped him.

"Hey, check out the mail I brought in. There's a couple more college brochures that came today."

"Okay, yeah."

The boy grabbed a few flyers and climbed the stairs without another word.

Clay rose and started to clear the table.

"Wow, he really must be worn out. I'm gonna have to give Sonny a call and give him shit for over-working AJ."

Emma chuckled, but didn't respond. She knew her children, and she wasn't entirely convinced that AJ's silence was just the result of exhaustion. Letting her gaze drift toward the stairs, she made a promise to herself that she would give her son a couple more days, and then they would have a chat about what was really going on.

When two more days went by, with a similar pattern of behavior from AJ, Emma took it upon herself to find out what was eating at the boy. She approached his door with a basket full of clean laundry and knocked on the door.

"Yea?"

"Can I come in? I've got some clean clothes for you."

"Yea, Mom. C'mon in."

AJ was sitting on his bed, studying something on his laptop intently. Emma sat the basket on his desk and addressed him again.

"So, you want to tell me what's up?"

AJ's head jerked up.

"What do you mean?"

"Something has been bothering you since you got home from the ranch. I thought you might want to talk about it."

AJ started to deny that anything was wrong, but he knew it was useless. He and Quinn used to joke that their Mom had ESP where they were concerned, and always, always knew when they were telling the truth. He sighed and set aside his computer. Emma took a seat in his desk chair and waited for him to speak.

"I... I know you and Dad have been waiting for me to make some decisions about my future, about college. School is starting in a few weeks and I know I should be sending in applications."

Emma stayed silent, letting AJ speak his piece.

"But I… I'm not so sure college is for me."

AJ had always been a good student, got decent grades, but he had never dived into books the way Quinn had. He preferred doing things to reading about them.

"Okay, well. It's not for everyone. Your dad and grandpa didn't go to college."

She was prepared for AJ to tell her he wanted to enlist but didn't want to put words in his mouth.

"I know. But, Mom, I don't want to go into the service either."

Now she was thoroughly confused.

"You lost me, son. If you don't want to go to college and you're not enlisting, what is it that you plan to do?'

After a deep breath, his words came out in a rush.

"I want to work with Uncle Sonny. I want to work on the ranch. He said, he told me he's too old to be doing things, that he'd probably have to sell. Then some developer would come in and tear it all up to build houses or something since he doesn't have anyone to pass it on to."

He raised his earnest blue eyes to hers.

"I don't want that to happen, Mom. I love the ranch…and…well, I'd like to become Uncle Sonny's partner and take it over one day."

Emma smiled fondly at her boy. His voice was filled with so much emotion and fervor as he continued on about his plans.

"Have you talked to Uncle Sonny about this?"

"Not yet. I mean not really. We had some 'what-if' conversations. But I wouldn't make any decisions without talking to you and Dad first."

"And this is what you really want to do?"

"It is. I love it Mom. The land, the skies, the horses. I… I can't see myself doing anything else."

Emma thought to herself that she really shouldn't have been surprised. Every time they had made a visit to Sonny over the years, AJ had lit up. Quinn always enjoyed the visits, and she loved her pony and the other horses her Godfather had gifted her over the years. But it was AJ that reveled in it. He would spend hours riding with Sonny and peppering him with questions about the cattle and the horses. When he turned 14 and Sonny had made the offer to him to come work on the ranch for the summer he jumped at the chance and had returned every summer thereafter.

"Well, it sounds like you've made up your mind."

"I have…it's only…"

"Only what?"

"I don't know how to tell Dad."

"Why? Why would you be worried about talking to your father?"

Even with his frequent absences as they were growing up, Clay had developed a wonderful relationship with both of his children. There was never a question in their minds that he loved them and their mother above all else. He encouraged them in each of their endeavors and assured them of his pride in their efforts. She knew that her husband always wanted his children to feel they could come to him with anything, any concern and he would listen. For this reason, she was surprised at AJ's reluctance to approach his father.

"I don't want him to be disappointed in me," he admitted.

"Why on Earth do you think he would be disappointed in you?"

The boy looked down at his hands that were twisting in his lap.

"Well, because I don't want to be in the Navy. I know how much serving meant to Dad. He was a SEAL and Grandpa was a SEAL. Now… now Quinn is planning on being a JAG officer in the Navy. I don't want to let him down by not enlisting."

When he looked up, she could see tears just behind his eyes. Emma swallowed and chose her words carefully.

"Yes, being in the Navy and serving his country means a lot to your Dad. But he would never want you to feel obligated to do something you didn't feel called to do. Your Dad told me once that he did what he did so that the people he loved would never have to see the things that he had seen. He did what he did because he wanted you and your sister to be safe and free to follow your own dreams. All he's ever wanted is for you to be happy, AJ."

The young man sniffed and wiped at his eyes.

"I know that. I just couldn't stand to upset him. Do you think that you could…"?

Emma stood and walked over to stand beside him and laid her hand on his shoulder.

"If this is your decision then you need to be the one to tell him about it, okay?"

Her son nodded in agreement.

"And don't wait too long. It's only going to get harder the longer you wait."

"Yea, you're right. Thanks Mom."

Emma leaned and placed a kiss on his unruly waves and left him to his thoughts.

The weekend came and father and son worked together to re-paint the front porch. The wooden deck, railing and the extended roof had been an addition that Clay had surprised Emma with one year. When they purchased their place while she was pregnant with Quinn, they were both happy with their choice. But Emma had lamented the lack of a front porch. She always felt that houses that boasted a porch were so much more homey and inviting. Clay never forgot her comments and saved for a few years to give her what she desired. So, one summer while she went to visit her brother and their newborn niece, he gathered the guys and they built Emma her front porch. When he picked her up from the airport and brought her home, she dissolved into tears of joy.

They all enjoyed the outdoor space over the years. But none more than Emma and Clay. He lost track of how many evenings they spent cuddled together on the porch swing, watching night fall, and feeling content to be there together with their children tucked safely in their beds.

It took them two full days, but when he and AJ were done and replaced the swing, potted flowers, and other decorations, the porch looked like new. AJ knew that working with his dad was ready made time to discuss his future plans, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Sunday evening found Clay and Emma snuggled on the porch swing, enjoying the late summer sunset.

"So…AJ. Something's up isn't it," he asked her.

"Why do you think that?"

"He seemed so jumpy, so on edge as we worked out here this weekend. Is something wrong, Em?"

Emma lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him. She still felt that it was AJ's place to share his plans with his father, but she wouldn't lie to her husband.

"He does have something to tell you. I was hoping he would have by now."

Clay searched her face but saw no worry or concern, so he relaxed. Knowing that if anything were truly amiss, she would share it with him.

"Well, I guess I'll have to go to him then, won't I?"

He rose from his spot, placed the throw over Emma and kissed her forehead.

"I'll be back. Save my spot."

Clay went up to his son's room and knocked on the slightly open door. AJ was inside, playing a video game.

"You have a minute?"

"Sure," he said, pausing the game and laying aside the controller.

"I want to thank you again for your help with the painting this weekend. It's gonna be hard for me to get used to doing things by myself once you head off to college next year."

AJ shifted uncomfortably at that comment. Clay sat down at the end of the bed.

"You wanna tell me what's up?"

Clay watched his son take a deep breath and dive in.

"Dad, I'm not going to college next year."

"Okay."

"I…I want to work with Uncle Sonny and learn Ranching."

"I see. You wanna run cattle, huh?"

"Yes. I want to do that too. But, really, I want to raise and breed horses."

Once he got started, AJ laid out his whole plan to Clay. He could see the passion in his son's eyes and hear it in his voice. When he finished, he looked to his father for his reaction.

"Did you talk to your Uncle Sonny about this?"

"No, not really. I wanted to discuss it with you and Mom first. What you do think?"

"That sounds like a lot of work, but a great plan."

"Are you, you're not disappointed in me?"

"Why would I be disappointed?"

"Because I'm not going into the Navy."

"Son, you have never made me anything but proud. If this is what you want, what you feel called to do, then it's what you should do."

AJ exhaled loudly.

"Thanks."

"Your mother and I will support you 100%."

"I know that, Dad. You both always have."

Clay grabbed his grown son and they embraced. He released the boy and stood up to leave.

"Hey, why don't we call Sonny tomorrow and see how we get this all going, okay?"

"Yea, that's… that sounds great," AJ almost babbled with excitement.

Right before he closed the door behind himself Clay stopped and spoke his son's name.

"AJ?"

"Yea?"

"I love you, son."

"Love you too, Dad."

Clay stopped in the kitchen on his way back outside to grab a glass of wine for himself and one for Emma. He rejoined her on the porch and handed her a glass.

"Thank you."

She re-arranged herself to make room for him. He settled in with one leg propped up on the swing and one on the floor. Emma situated herself leaning back against his chest and he pushed off the wooden boards to start them in motion. As they swayed in the night breeze she spoke up.

"So, did you talk to AJ?"

"Yea, we talked."

"And…"

"Our son is going to be a rancher."

"Yes, he is."

"He's gonna be a damn good one, too."

Emma agreed and smiled in shared pride at the man they'd raised together.


	17. A Change in Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note:
> 
> I know it's been a long time since I updated. This came to me this weekend. I hope you enjoy. Please let me know if you would like to keep seeing these future snippets of Clay & Emma's life together.

CH 17-A Change in Plans

Emma was actually looking forward to this appointment. She drove herself, after getting the okay from her doctor. The past few weeks hadn't been easy. Having a C-section wasn't part of their plan. The recovery was much harder on Emma than after she had Quinn. It took her longer to get back to doing normal things like cooking and cleaning. When he was home, Clay had played "Mother Hen", not letting her lift anything except the baby, and insisting on doing the laundry and the dishes, and most of the housework in addition to his long days.

What hurt the most was not being able to cuddle and care for Quinn the way she wanted to. The little girl didn't understand why Mama couldn't lift her up and carry her, or why she couldn't play with her like she usually did.

When Clay had to be away, Jason was enlisted to help. Quinn enjoyed her Grandfather's presence and loved the games he played with her. But, at the end of the day it was Emma she wanted to give her a bath and take her to bed.

Then there was her time with her husband. Their lives were hectic enough with a newborn in the house. She honestly hadn't had the time or energy to anything other than the basics. So, intimacy was the last thing on her mind. She knew Clay missed her and missed their closeness. As she began to heal and feel more herself, she longed for his touch as well. With his deployment and then her being so far along when he returned, it had been far too long since they could be together. She was hoping that the doctor would clear her physically today. She smiled to herself, looking forward to the positive report she could give Clay when she got home.

She checked-in with the receptionist and sat down in the waiting area. It was fifteen minutes past her appointment time when the nurse called her back to the exam room. Emma changed into the paper gown provided and waited on the exam table for her doctor.

The checkup itself went quickly. It was the conversation after that took a turn. They started to discuss continued after-care and next steps.

"So, Emma. Things look good. Your incision is nicely healed. You could still feel some pulling here and there as you move. But that is completely normal. There's no reason to worry unless you have sharp pains, or you start to notice any redness or swelling."

"I can start Yoga back up then?"

"Yes, that shouldn't be a problem."

"Good."

She still felt soft around the middle and wanted to started toning her muscles back up.

"Any other questions?"

"Are my husband & I okay to have sex now?"

"Yes, again, you need to listen to your body about what positions are comfortable. But resuming your normal intimacy should be fine. Have you and your husband discussed what method of Birth Control you want to use? If you want to go back on the pills, I recommend a lower dosage version as long as you are breastfeeding. It's effective in preventing pregnancy but can have less of an effect on your milk supply."

"I think that's probably the best bet until we want to start trying to get pregnant again."

The surprised look on her doctor's face registered with Emma.

"Is there something wrong?"

"Emma, I think I've been guilty of not fully explaining how dangerous the situation was with your seizure and subsequent delivery with AJ."

Emma's forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean. You said that I'm fine now, that the episode left no lasting issues. And AJ's Pediatrician said he's perfectly healthy. Being delivered a couple weeks early didn't hurt him at all."

"All of that is true. And I'm happy to know that the baby is doing so well…"

"But…" Emma prompted warily.

The doctor took a deep breath before continuing.

"But your situation was very serious. The blood pressure spike came out of nowhere and we're still not sure what caused it. Because of that we can't be sure it won't happen again. As a result, it is my recommendation that you and your husband don't try for another pregnancy."

Emma sucked in a breath. She wasn't expecting this.

"You can't know what will happen. So, that means it could have been a one-time thing. "

"Yes…yes it could. But, since we couldn't definitively diagnose the cause, we can't work to prevent it. Emma," she paused. "I'm going to be frank here. We almost lost you. You and the baby. If you hadn't had contractions and woken your husband…you could have slipped away at home in bed."

Emma choked back a sob. The thought of Clay waking to find her, and AJ gone, in bed next to him was horrifying. The doctor sat quietly, letting her try to make sense of the conversation.

"So…so, that's it? No more babies?"

"I know this is hard. I wish I had better news. But you know you are both young enough and adoption could be a great option for you, if you want to expand your family. Or there's always Surrogacy if you wanted to investigate that route."

She continued on, but Emma had stopped listening. She couldn't get the truth to sink in. No more babies. That's all she could hear.

The doctor saw that she had lost Emma.

"Well, if you want to talk about any of that, you can schedule an appointment at any time for a consult."

Then she stood and laid a hand on Emma's shoulder before leaving her alone in the exam room.

"I am terribly sorry. I'll let the staff know that you're still in here. You take all the time you need."

Emma nodded and thanked her absently.

As soon as the door was closed, she started to get dressed. Everything happened without conscious thought. Soon she was dressed walking out to the parking lot. She searched around in her purse for her keys. She knew they were in there somewhere. Her fingers delved into every crevice and pocket with no luck. Emma couldn't hold back the tears any longer.

"Damn it!"

She shoved her hands into her coat pockets and felt the cold metal bite into her hand. Pulling the jingling ring out roughly, and pressing the fob to unlock the door, she slumped into the driver's seat. She slammed the door and jerked the seat belt across in front of her and jammed it into the latch. With tears dripping down her face she crumpled over the steering wheel and sobbed. A thousand thoughts whirled through her head. She and Clay had never really said how many children they wanted, but they had discussed having a big family. She knew growing up as an only child had an effect on him. He once said he wanted a "house full of kids." She had no objections. She loved Clay and loved their babies. Now…now that was over, gone, done. How would she tell him? There would be no more babies for them.

She was wiping the tears from her cheeks when she heard her phone indicate an incoming text. It was Clay.

-Are you on your way? –

Emma looked at the time. She didn't realize that it was so late. She nursed AJ before she left but didn't think she would be gone long enough for Clay to need to feed him again. Just thinking about her son started the tingling in her breasts. She tried to will her milk not to start flowing. There was breastmilk in the fridge that he could use. But their son definitely preferred his meals straight from the source and fought the bottle quite vocally. Knowing her baby needed her jerked her thoughts back to reality. She straightened her shoulders, turned on the car and focused on getting home safely.

She bustled in the door, hearing the baby's cries, joined by Quinn's as she approached the house.

"Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be gone so long."

Clay was sitting on the couch holding their hungry son and trying to simultaneously soothe their over-tired daughter. She tossed her purse down, flung off her coat, and reached for AJ.

"I'm here. Mama's here," she murmured to him as she unbuttoned her now soaking shirt and took a seat in the chair.

He was so distraught that it took a few minutes to get him to calm down enough to latch on and start to suckle. Finally, finally they both got the relief they needed. Her eyes sought Clay's again, trying to apologize. He had pulled Quinn into his lap and was rubbing her back, willing the toddler to fall asleep. They were both frazzled and frustrated. He could see her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy. He knew something else was going on, but now was not the time to discuss it.

Eventually he got Quinn to sleep and took her up to bed for what would hopefully be a long nap. He came back downstairs quietly, picked up her coat and bag and hung them in the closet.

"Thank you."

"Of course."

He bent and pressed a kiss to AJ's head and gave her a peck on the lips. Then he settled in on the couch and watched the miracle in front of him. Even though he had seen Emma feed Quinn and now their son countless times, it was a sight of which he would never tire. He firmly believed that there was never anything as beautiful as watching his wife give of her body to nourish and sustain their children.

By the time the baby was finished he was asleep, and Emma was drooping. Clay scooped his son gently from Emma's arms and took him upstairs to his bassinet. He came back downstairs roused her.

"Babe…Em. Why don't you go on up and lay down too?"

"Hmm? I need to get this into the laundry."

She motioned to her blouse and bra that were stained and wet from where she leaked through the nursing pads. He helped her up and walked her to the stairs.

"Go ahead and change and throw all that back down. I'll put it in to soak for you."

"You don't need to do that. I can take care of it."

He pulled her close and kissed her head.

"I know you can. But, let me do it this time, huh?"

Tears pricked at her eyes as she looked up at him. She could see some dark circles starting to trace their way under his twinkling blue eyes. She felt horrible that he was so tired and taking on so much of the load. If she was tired, it made things difficult, but only annoying. If he were too tired it could mean the difference between life and death at work. She tugged on his hand as she went up the first couple steps.

"Come on up and lay down with me. You need to rest too."

"But…" he motioned to her clothing.

"I'll rinse it all in the bathroom sink and take it down later with the rest of the laundry."

It wasn't just his need for sleep that was her only motivation. She was still shaken by her conversation with the doctor. She wanted to feel him close. He could sense her need and allowed her to lead him up to their room.

They tiptoed through the door, mindful of the sleeping occupant in the cradle at the foot of the bed. Emma went into their en-suite and stripped off her top and bra, putting them in the sink to soak in cool water. When she walked back into their bedroom, she could see Clay had taken off his shoes and jeans and slid under the covers. She noticed his eyes darken and follow her as she came back in just her leggings. She grabbed one of his old t-shirts and pulled it on. He lifted the sheet for her, and she went into his arms. Snuggling close, she fitted her head into the crook of his neck and sighed heavily. The desperate way she clung to him let him know that there was indeed something more going on. He was a starting to worry since the change in her mood came after her check-up with her OB/GYN. He didn't press her though, deciding that she would share whatever news she had in her own time. He held her close, tightening his arms around her and taking comfort in the soft puffs of breath he felt against his neck.

They both must have been exhausted because neither one of them heard Quinn maneuver her way out of her bed after calling for them. She woke, climbed up over the railing, and padded down the hall and into their room. Clay started awake when he felt her tiny hands pat his cheeks.

"Quinn, what…how…how did you get in here?"

He rolled over and pulled his pants back on while whispering to his daughter. She began to giggle, and he reminded her to be quiet while casting wary glances at both Emma and the baby. He picked up his little girl and proceeded to take her back to her room to check her diaper. All the while she chattered to him about getting out of bed and coming to find him. She was so proud, while Clay cursed himself for forgetting to put up the baby gate at the top of the stairs. If she had tried to come find them down there, instead of in their room…he didn't even want to think about what could have happened. Her diaper was dry, so he re-dressed her and took her downstairs.

"Where Mama?"

"Mama and brother are sleeping. They're very tired."

"Bruver sleep every time."

Clay responded once he untangled her meaning.

"Yea, well…that's what babies do. AJ has a lot of growing to do so that he can be big enough to play with you. And all that growing makes him tired."

"Mama sleep too."

"Taking care of all of us makes Mama very tired. She needs to rest. So why don't you and I try to be as quiet as we can and let her sleep, okay?"

Quinn stuck out her lip and her chin quivered.

"I miss mama."

The little girl had adjusted to having a new baby brother as well as could be expected. The added complications of the delivery that kept Emma from being able to pick up and play with Quinn were just more salt in the wound. Clay hugged his little girl close and tried to soothe her.

"I know. Mama misses being able to do all the things with you too. It won't be too much longer until she can do all that again."

He felt her nod against his shoulder and heard her sniffing as the stopped crying.

"I have an idea. Let's you and I make dinner. That way when Mama wakes up, she'll have more time to spend with you. What do you say?"

She nodded enthusiastically, climbed off his lap, and started toward the kitchen.

"Hey, wait for me, punkin."

Emma awoke to the snuffling cry of her son. He wasn't quite awake yet, but she could tell by his movements and the pursing of his mouth that he would be up any minute and wanting his dinner. She arranged the pillows so that she could sit up and then lifted him into her arms. As he fed, she looked down into his face. His eyes were open and looking at her. He waved his tiny fist and she caught it between her fingers, bringing his hand to her lips. She could see so much of Clay in him, the shape of his nose and chin, not to mention the crook in his little finger.

AJ finished eating and she changed his diaper, crooning words of love to him all the while. As she lifted him back into her arms, he offered her his first real smile. Emma couldn't stop the tears as she snuggled him on her shoulder. The fact that he would be her last baby was still heavy on her mind.

She started down the stairs and could hear Clay and Quinn in the kitchen. Her daughter was sitting on the counter, next to her father, chattering a mile a minute. Quinn's happy monologue kept Clay from hearing her approach.

"Well, hello you two. What's going on in here?"

Clay turned to answer her as Quinn flung herself toward her mother. Thankfully, his reflexes were quick, and he caught the little girl before she fell.

"Hey, hey. Be careful Baby. Here, let's let Mama sit and you can sit in her lap, okay?"

He sat their daughter carefully in her mother's lap and then took his son from Emma's arms. After the exchange, Emma focused all her attention on her daughter.

"What are you and Daddy doing baby?"

"Daddy and I cook."

"What are you making?"

Quinn looked to her father. Clay bent down and whispered into her ear.

"S'getti," the little girl repeated.

"You're making spaghetti for dinner? That's great honey. I appreciate your help so much."

"Make butter bread."

"We were just about to butter the bread before toasting it," Clay translated.

He went and got the baby's bouncy seat and sat it on the table, strapping AJ in. Then he put the sheet pan with the bread and the butter in front of Emma and Quinn.

"There. Now you and Mama can do the bread together."

Emma smiled up at him and he dropped a kiss on her head.

"Daddy," Quinn whined.

"Ooops, sorry! Have to give a kiss to both my girls."

And he kissed the top of her head too.

Dinner was simple, but filling. Soon the little family was settled in the living room for some time together before bed. Emma watched Clay holding little AJ as they played dolls with Quinn, her heart was full. But there was a sharp ache there too. He was such a wonderful father. And now, now she couldn't give him more children. She wiped at her eyes quickly, trying to hide her tears.

At the appropriate time, Emma took Quinn upstairs and helped her get ready for bed. Clay came up and lifted her up over the rails and into bed. He and Emma took the baby back down. It was still a little while until his bedtime feeding and they could collapse in bed for a few hours until he woke to nurse again. They talked about their days, what needed to be accomplished tomorrow and plans for their weekend. Clay noticed that Emma carefully avoided any mention of her appointment today. Soon the baby started to work his tiny mouth and root around at the front of Clay's shirt.

"Sorry buddy. You're gonna need Mama for that. Unless…" he looked up at Emma. "Why don't you let me try with a bottle. We're going to have to get him used to it at some point."

She swallowed and nodded, blinking back the tears that wanted to come. It seemed like every action was now laced with the precious nuance that it was one step closer to the last time.

"I know. I just…I love the time with him…"

"Okay. I'm sorry honey. I didn't mean to upset you. I just thought I could help out some then."

"No, you're right. We can try tomorrow. I didn't mean to overreact. I'm…I'm only tired."

"I know. Here," he motioned to AJ. "When he's finished why don't you let me put him down. You can rest for a while then."

She nodded, touched once again by his care of her.

When AJ was done, Emma kissed his soft cheeks and handed him into his father's arms. Clay took him up and readied him for bed. Emma steeled herself for the discussion with Clay that she knew was imminent.

Sooner than she was ready, he came back down carrying the baby monitor and sat next to her on the couch. He hoped she would start the conversation, but when she didn't, he carefully broached the subject.

"So…how did your appointment go today?"

Taking a deep breath, she plastered a smile on her face and answered.

"It went pretty well. The doctor said that everything is healing like it should be. I can even start back with some Yoga again."

"That's great news."

"Yea, you won't have to look at this pudgy tummy for much longer."

He tugged her over the lay against him and wrapped his arm around her, laying his hand across her middle.

"First, I love you no matter how you look. Second, you are so sexy it hurts, baby."

He followed his comments with some soft kisses to her neck and jaw.

"I'm happy you can do your Yoga again because I know how you miss it and that it helps you feel good and gives you energy."

She hugged his arm against her and kissed his bicep. Then, as she brought a hand up to trace his tattoo she continued.

"She also said that we're okay to start having sex again."

"Good to know for when you're feeling up to it."

There was a pause before she spoke again.

"Ah, she also asked what kind of Birth Control we wanted to use."

"I'm happy to talk about it with you. But it's really your call, babe."

"Yea…actually…there was more…"

Clay could tell whatever she had to say was hard for her. He tightened his arms around her and placed a kiss on her temple.

"We talked about AJ's delivery and what happened. She said that since they couldn't figure out what happened with my blood pressure, they couldn't be sure it wouldn't happen again."

Emma could feel Clay tense up at the mention of her seizure and the subsequent issues.

"So…um," she was weeping now. "She said that I shouldn't get pregnant again. It would be too risky."

"That, uh, that makes sense."

She could hear the emotion in his voice, interpreting it as disappointment.

"I'm sorry, Clay. I'm so sorry," she said as she dissolved into tears.

"Hey, hey…" he lifted her and placed her on his lap. "Shhhh. It' s okay Baby."

Emma curled around him and cried against his chest.

"Honey, why would you be sorry?"

"N-now you can't have any more children…because of me."

"What?"

He was incredulous. How could she think that he would be upset, that he would ever risk her life?

"Emma, honey. Look at me."

She tipped her face up to look at him. She didn't see the regret she expected. All she saw was love.

"Em…do you have any idea how lucky I am? I never thought that I could have all this. That I would have you, and the kids, that I would have a family. When I met you and we got together, I felt like I was in some sort of dream. I kept waiting to wake up and realize that none of it was real. Everything I have…is because of you."

"But…but you were upset when I told you. I could feel it."

"I was upset because I was remembering how it felt in the back of that car with you. Begging you to breath and to stay with me. How it was waiting in that damned waiting room for hours not knowing if I would ever see you or hold you again."

The intensity of his feelings bubbled over and she could see tears threatening.

"I don't care about any plans we made. All I care about is you, Quinn, and AJ. I have a wonderful family. I've already been given so much more than I deserve."

"So, you're not upset?"

"No, never. I couldn't…I can't lose you Emmie."

He lowered his head and rested his forehead on hers. They both felt like a weight had been lifted from their shoulders. After a long embrace, Clay scooted forward and stood up, lifting Emma with him. She squealed slightly and threw her arms around his neck.

"What are you doing?"

He dropped a kiss on her nose.

"Carrying my wife up to bed," he chuckled. "C'mon. Let's get some sleep before Little Man wakes up wanting to eat again."

Emma leaned her head on his shoulder and laughed as he mounted the stairs.

"I love you Em."

"I love you too."


	18. The Best Laid Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Note:
> 
> Here's a little Fluff and Fun for Valentine's Day. I hope everyone enjoys this. Please leave me a review. I live for them! Thanks!

CH 18-The Best Laid Plans

Clay had plans. Valentine's Day was this weekend, and he was making the arrangements. Over the years he and Emma had missed several holidays together. They learned to adapt and take their moments of celebration when they could, not being bothered about the actual date on the calendar. Even so, whenever they celebrated, the planning and preparation usually fell mainly on Emma's shoulders. Not this year. Clay was planning everything. He wanted to treat his wife to a romantic evening. She kept asking him about it and her assured her that he had everything under control. She only needed to relax and enjoy it.

Saturday came and Clay was getting the kids packed up for the night with their Grandfather. Jason was coming to pick them up after their naps. That should give them plenty of time to get ready and make their dinner reservation. Clay packed jammies and clothes, toothbrushes, and even extra pants for the newly potty-trained AJ, in case he had an accident. He even remembered to include their nutritious nighttime snacks in case his father-in-law had forgotten. 

When Jason came, Clay handed over the bags and helped get the car seats transferred and arranged while Emma gave extra hugs and kisses. This wasn't the first time they had spent the night with their Grandpa, but there were still a few tears when they were finally buckled in and waved goodbye as they left the driveway.

Emma went up to take a shower and while Clay cleaned up the kitchen and picked up the living room. At 5:30 Emma came down the stairs and the sight of her took his breath away. She was wearing a red, silky dress. The sleeves were sheer, and it had a demure neckline that gave way to a diamond shaped cut out in back. She twirled around and the full skirt swirled around her legs.

"Em…you look gorgeous," he said, reaching for her.

"Thanks. I know it's a little much. But I don't get to dress up too often. So, I decided it would be fun to be a little fancy tonight."

He stroked his fingers up her back and curled them around under the fall of her hair. Lowering his head, he slanted his lips over hers. Emma slipped her palms down his chest and wrapped her arms around him. They ended their kiss, and she reached up and swiped her thumb across his lips to remove the smear of her lipstick.

"Not your color," she teased. "By the way, you look very handsome."

She knew her comments were an understatement as she looked at his muscular form in gray slacks and sport coat and black dress shirt.

He dropped another kiss on her lips and then helped her into her coat.

"We should get going."

Clay drove to a small supper club that they heard about, but never had the chance to try. They arrived and Clay dropped her at the door before finding a parking spot. He joined her at the hostess stand and they were shown to their table. They were seated in a semi-circular booth at the back of the dining room.

"This is cozy," Emma commented as they slid into their seats.

Clay scooted over right next to her and looped his arm around her, drawing her up to his side.

"It is cozy. I haven't gotten to sit this close to you at dinner for a long time."

Emma laughed, knowing it was true. Most of their dinners were marked by trying to get something nutritious into two little people that only wanted chicken nuggets and buttered noodles.

"I'm not sure I know how to act without the kids here."

Clay winked at her as he responded.

"Just promise me you won't try and cut my steak for me."

She tossed her head back and laughed that silvery laugh that warmed his soul. Seeing the twinkle in her eyes and the pure joy on her face, he couldn't resist capturing her lips for another kiss. After only a few more seconds, their embrace was interrupted by their server clearing her throat.

"Excuse me. Uhhh, I can come back."

Clay lifted his head and waved his hand to her. Emma blushed, but he was unaffected. Their PDA was never over the top. But he wasn't shy about expressing his feelings in public and it never seemed to bother him who might be a witness to a kiss or two.

"No, no, you're fine."

He ordered a bottle of wine and asked for her recommendation for an appetizer. He kept his arm around Emma the whole time, thumb brushing gently back and forth across her shoulder. Their server left them to review their menus and went to get the drinks.

Before she came back another employee approached the table with a bouquet of red roses.

"Mrs. Spenser, these are for you."

Surprised, she accepted the flowers and the small card, which read:

So lucky to share my life with you! Happy Valentine's Day.

Love Always,

Clay

She took a moment and then laid the flowers on the seat next to her and reached for Clay's hand.

"Thank you honey. I love you too."

She gave him a quick peck on the lips.

"How did you get these here?"

"All a part of my plan," he responded with a smile.

After they ordered their entrees, Emma surreptitiously tried to slip her phone out of her purse and check for any messages from her dad about the kids. Clay saw her out of the corner of his eye and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I was…just checking."

"Uh huh. You know they're fine with your dad, right?"

"I know…but…"

"You worry anyway."

She bit her lip and looked up at him sheepishly.

"Hey," he caught her chin with his thumb and finger. "I get it. It's what makes you an amazing Mom. But we're not 'Mommy and Daddy' tonight. Tonight, I get you all to myself."

She smiled up at him and put her phone away. They talked about work and the house and plans for what to do with his upcoming time off as their food was delivered and eaten. Before deciding on dessert, Clay excused himself to the restroom.

While he was gone, Emma did check her phone for messages again. She hoped the kids were behaving for her dad. Seeing none, she put her phone back in her purse long before Clay returned to the table.

He crossed the room and rejoined her.

"So, any messages?"

"Hmmm?"

She tried to look innocent.

"C'mon. I know you looked while I was gone."

Emma laughed and owned up.

"Fine. I checked, and nothing from Dad."

"Hey, it's okay. I checked too," he admitted, nudging his shoulder against hers.

This time it was she that leaned over and initiated a kiss. After the last small peck, they realized that their server was once again standing to the side of the table, ready to give them the dessert menu.

"Sorry," Clay offered.

She smiled kindly as she handed them the heavy cardstock.

"It's no problem. It's always nice to see newlyweds like you two."

Emma started to correct her assumption, but Clay grasped her hand in his and offered a simple "Thank you," as a response.

Emma looked embarrassed and he questioned her.

"What's wrong?"

"We really look like Newlyweds?"

He shrugged casually.

"Maybe so. What's the problem with that?"

"It's just, you know…the stereo type. That couple that can't keep their hands off each other, the husband just biding his time until he can get her home, and into bed."

He just looked back at her with a smug grin. Then, as she looked into his twinkling eyes, the light in them turned from amusement, to pure heat. She saw his nostrils flare and the tip of his tongue slide out to wet his lips. Whispering for her ears only, "I think I changed my mind. I'd rather have dessert at home."

Her body responded immediately to the tone of his voice and heat pooled low in her belly. She nodded in agreement, not trusting herself to speak. Clay motioned to their server and asked for the check. All the while they waited, he stroked his fingertips up and down the bare skin of her back, tracing her spine. His touch was feather-light, but burned into her skin, causing her to shiver with anticipation. Under the tablecloth she laid a hand on his upper thigh, fingers pressing into his muscle. He signed for the check and helped her into her coat. She picked up her flowers and he led her to the door, guiding her through the maze of tables with a hand on her lower back. Leaving her inside, out of the chill with kiss pressed to her head, he went to get the truck. Then he pulled up to the door and hopped out to help her in.

All the way home the air between them sparked with tension. It wasn't that they hadn't made love in a while. They had an active sex life when their schedules and energy levels allowed. But it usually happened at bedtime, in their room, and they had to be relatively quiet because of the kids. Tonight, they could be wild and uninhibited. Neither one of them could wait to get home.

Clay pulled into the garage and they walked sedately through the door into the laundry room. Emma went ahead of him, laying her bouquet on the shelf by the door. She started into the kitchen, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back. His back was against the door she was flush to his front. His hands tangled in her hair as he claimed her mouth. Emma dropped her purse and grasped his lapels and pulled herself even tighter against him. He pushed the coat off her shoulders, and it fell to the ground. His coat and jacket were next as they made their way into through the laundry room and into the kitchen. Clay bent to grasp her legs and lifted her. Emma wrapped her legs around his waist and looped her arms behind his neck as they moved toward the kitchen table. He sat her on the tabletop, barely removing his lips from hers.

With her hands free, Emma went to work on the buttons of his shirt while he undid the closures behind her neck that were holding her dress up. Kissing down his neck to his chest, she ran her hands over his chest and abs, reveling in the crests and dips that marked the definition of each muscle. Her intimate knowledge of him and his body meant she knew exactly how to drive him crazy. Placing sucking kisses to his chest, she flicked her tongue across his nipple and bit gently. Clay drew her closer to the edge of the table and pressed her against the bulge stretching his pants and groaned aloud.

"Em…Jesus!"

He could feel the corners of her mouth curl into a smirk at his reaction. He backed up a little, just out of her reach. She whined in response but was pacified when he finished removing his shirt and tossed it on the floor. Next, he started to carefully help her out of the sleeves of her dress and folded it down from her body to hang at her waist. Reaching over to flip on the light he offered an explanation.

"You're so beautiful. I wanna see you, baby."

He looked at her. Hair tousled, ivory skin painted with a rosy blush and, and dusky pink nipples decorating her perfect breasts. He cupped her in his palm while his lips parted hers and he toyed with her tongue. He kneaded her pliant flesh with strong fingers. Pulling a moan from her as his thumb teased her pebbled tip. Intent on hearing her make that sound again, he plied his lips down her neck as she leaned back, and he bathed her other nipple with his tongue until it glistened in the light. Her hips were rocking now, rubbing her against his erection.

"Clay…Clay…"

She repeated his name over and over until he finally took her in mouth, feasting on her. As he savored the taste of her, he fleetingly thought that no dessert the restaurant offered could be sweeter than her skin. She wove her fingers through his hair and tried to pull him closer even as she arched her back toward him. He moved to pay the same homage to her other breast, feeling her fingers press into his scalp. Emma's thighs were like a vice around his hips and the room filled with the sounds of her pleasure. Nothing turned Clay on more than seeing and hearing his wife like this, knowing he was responsible for each moan and each quiver of her body.

Wanting to continue to love her, Clay reached behind her back and lifted her to him as he stood. He growled in the back of his throat as he felt her, slick from his saliva, pressed against his front. Emma licked into his mouth as he carried her over to the couch. She kicked off her shoes on the way and was barefoot when her put her down. His fingers found the zipper at her hip and then he gently pushed her dress over her behind and let it pool on the floor at her feet. She stepped out of the ring of scarlet silk and stood in tiny black panties, letting him look his fill.

This shade of his eyes, as he gazed at her, was her favorite color because it was only for her. Their regular steel blue turned dark and hazy like the sky before a storm. He reached for her again, crushing his lips to hers. Emma busied herself with unbuckling his belt and pulling swiftly though the loops at his waist. Then her nimble fingers had his pants open and pushed down to his knees along with his underwear. He kicked off his shoes and toed off his socks as she bent to fully remove his slacks.

Now it was her turn to appreciate his perfectly sculpted body. From her vantage point on her knees, she looked him up and down, stroking her way to his arousal. Grasping his length in her hand, she used her kiss-swollen lips and silken tongue to tease his heavy sack and lick at the shaft while her thumb rubbed over the head. The combination had him dizzy with want. No matter how amazing it felt to have her mouth on him, he needed to bury himself inside her.

"Em…unh, babe," he breathed, while reaching to help her stand.

He hooked his thumbs in her panties and tugged them down until she could kick them off. Lifting her, he laid down on the couch with her straddling him. Clay reached between them and dragged his fingers through her folds, making sure she was ready for him. Using her arousal coating his fingers, he stroked his full length once before he took himself in hand and held steady as she rocked back to take him in. Emma bit her lip and clutched at the cushions. There was nothing that ever compared to the feeling of him seated completely inside her, filling her in the way only he could. She began to ride him as his hips thrust in sync with her rhythm. Their sounds of their loving drowned out the low buzzing coming from Clay's coat pocket, and even the subsequent chimes emanating from her purse.

Knowing they were alone and didn't have to worry about possible interruptions had them adopting a languid pace. Each wanted to enjoy the journey and not rush to the finish. Clay watched her astride him, rolling her hips slowly, breasts bouncing gently, taking her pleasure. He reached up and brought her to his mouth, once again teasing her nipples with flicks of his tongue.

"Ahh, ahh," she panted above him.

Clay could feel her grinding into him, her movements picking up speed as she neared her release. Wanting to see and feel her unravel around him, he moved his hands to her ass, pulling her harder against him, adding to the friction she sought. Her rhythm began to falter as she felt herself climbing and climbing, so close to falling over the precipice into pure bliss. With a final twist of her hips, he could feel her walls clenching around him as she cried out and then sunk her teeth into his shoulder. He continued to thrust gently while she rode the crest of her orgasm. Then, as her breathing slowed, he flipped them over and wrapped her legs around his waist. Emma clutched onto him as he drove into her. With her previous release still buzzing just under the surface, it didn't take much for her to be right back there with him, on the edge. She could feel him lengthen and his breath hitched. As he let go inside her with an almost feral grunt, he balanced on one arm and drew his hand to their joining to massage her bundle of nerves. That coupled with the sensation of his warmth filling her, had her curling her toes and throwing her head back as her second release overtook her. Clay watched her fall, eyes wide and gasping his name. It didn't matter how many times that he brought her to this place, her unguarded beauty overwhelmed him.

"Emmie, Baby…love you," he breathed, nuzzling next to her ear.

"Mmmmm…I love you too."

She peppered his face and neck with kisses as he withdrew and shifted to lay next to her. Tracing her fingers in random patterns across his chest she cuddled into him.

"Was this all part of your plan?"

"Ummhmm."

"Well, I guess I should let you make the plans more often."

He chuckled and tightened his arms around her. Neither was inclined to move, not even to get up and move to their much more comfortable bed. Clay pulled the blanket down over them and kissed her head. The kids wouldn't be home until after lunch tomorrow. They had plenty of time. Settling into the peace and quiet, he had one more sentiment to share.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Em."

She smiled sleepily up at him.

"Happy Valentine's."

Things were not so serene and quiet at Jason's house. Dinner went well, the kids both ate up the macaroni-n-cheese and apple sauce. Afterwards, he let them turn on the Disney channel and watch any movie they chose. He even pretended to forget about the snacks their Father sent and dished them up big bowls of ice cream. Afterall, Grandpas were supposed to spoil their grandkids.

Then came bedtime. Pajamas were put on and teeth brushed. Jason even remembered to get out the nightlight he kept in the drawer of the dresser in the guest room for his favorite visitors. He supervised prayers and tucked them each in with a kiss. As he exited the room, he remembered to leave the door slightly ajar so he could hear if they needed him.

He went to his room and collapsed on the bed. He loved babysitting the kids, but it was draining. It definitely reminded him of why you had babies when you were young. He pulled his tired bones up from the mattress and started to walk downstairs to clean up and watch some hockey. He crept past the kids and got down three steps before a cry split the stillness. Turning wearily, he hurried back to see what was wrong.

It was AJ. He was inconsolable. Jason couldn't even understand the three-year old's words between his sobs. Thankfully, Quinn knew the issue immediately. AJ was missing his favorite stuffed dinosaur, a plush, blue Triceratops Clay had christened, 'Topper.' He wouldn't sleep without it.

Jason spoke calmly, trying to sooth him.

"Hey Buddy, I'm sure Daddy packed it. Let's just take another look in your bag."

He went over to the duffle bag and took everything out, one by one, looking for the errant toy. Socks, shoes, extra PJs. Clay had remembered everything, well almost everything. When his Grandfather came up empty-handed, AJ's tears started again.

Jason picked him up and tried to quite the crying. He offered AJ all the toys he kept there at his place for them. But nothing worked. He didn't want to interrupt Clay and Emma's evening, but he saw no help for it. He tucked Quinn back in and carried AJ downstairs with him. He picked up his phone and texted Clay. Pacing back and forth across the floor with his unhappy grandson, he waited for a response.

After fifteen minutes there was still no reply. He tried again, this time sending the message to Emma. He waited and waited, with no answer. He glanced at the clock, only 9:30. Surely, they weren't asleep yet. But he recalled several instances when he and Alana had the night off and collapsed of pure exhaustion before they could even undress, regardless of any more intimate intentions.

AJ quieted and his eyelids were drooping. Jason decided to try and put him back in bed, hoping sleep would win out. He honestly didn't know what else to do. Climbing back upstairs he opened the door quietly in case Quinn was asleep. Laying him down under the blankets, he sighed in relief when he saw AJ's eyes were closed.

It was an early morning at the condo. Jason and AJ both got little sleep, the toddler woke up several more times. Finally, Jason took him into his own bed to keep him from waking Quinn. So, at eight-thirty, after a quick breakfast, he packed them up and loaded them into the car for the trip home. He knew it was earlier than he and Clay agreed, but he figured that once they heard the reason for the change in plans, they would forgive him.

They got to the house and all was quiet. Betting that his daughter and son-in-law were trying to sleep in, he decided to take the kids inside and watch them until their parents came down. At least AJ could have his dino and maybe he could coax the two of them down for a nap, buying Clay and Emma a little more rest.

He moved quietly, unlocking the door, and stepping inside. He held AJ in his arms and clasped Quinn's hand so she wouldn't run inside ahead of him. He was just about to remind her to be quiet when his eyes went wide at the scene before him. Just the quick glimpse he saw, had him spinning the kids around and wishing he were anywhere but here.

Clay and Emma were snuggled on the couch with a fuzzy blanket tossed haphazardly across them, thankfully covering the most delicate parts. Still, he could see their entwined legs sticking out from the cover and the whole of Emma's exposed back as she laid in Clay's arms, held tightly to his bare chest.

Quinn began to fuss about being allowed to see Mommy and Daddy, so Jason cleared his throat loudly. He hoped to wake the two, and quickly.

Clay stirred first and blinked his eyes against the sunlight, trying to discover what had woken him. Then, over Emma's shoulder he spied his father-in-law trying desperately to keep the children from turning around. He jerked fully awake and shook Emma's shoulder.

"Em, Em," he whispered. "Wake up. We have to get up."

"Huh?"

She nuzzled into his neck.

"Babe, your Dad and the kids are here."

"What?"

They tried to sit up and make themselves presentable while staying covered. Finally, Emma addressed her father.

"Dad, what are you doing here?"

Jason spoke with his back still turned and a hand over Quinn's eyes.

"I uh…AJ forgot Topper… didn't sleep…."

Clay cut in with a suggestion.

"Jace, why don't you take the kids upstairs while we get situated."

Jason followed his advice and was able to hurry the children past their parents and up the stairs without any of them seeing more than they should.

Once they were out of sight, Clay doubled over laughing while Emma was mortified. It didn't matter to her that they were married and had two children, her dad didn't need to see her naked with her husband. He pulled on his underwear and pants while she wrapped up in the blanket and hurried into the laundry room, praying she could find something in the basket.

She worked up the nerve to go back out while she changed into a pair of leggings and one of Clay's sweatshirts, Jason was back in the living room talking with Clay, trying not to notice the obvious bite mark on his shoulder.

"Uh, hey Em. The kids are laying down in their rooms. I'm…I'm sorry."

He raked his hand through his hair nervously as his eyes took in the clothing strewn around the room. As his gaze landed on her lacy panties hanging off the edge of the end table, he turned beet red, mumbled a quick goodbye, and fled like the Taliban was at his back.

Clay walked him out and shut the door behind him. When he turned around Emma noticed he still wore a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Oh my God. How can you laugh at this? My Dad just…just saw…"

He walked toward her and pulled her into his arms. He could tell she wasn't really angry with him. He bent to press a kiss to her lips and then answered her.

"To be clear, that was definitely not part of my plan."

She swatted at him playfully and then laughed along.


End file.
